I Hope You Will Not Forget This Either (Sitkolson)

Maybe He Was Right

Ryan's POV

Ricky's gone. He really left me. I can't believe it. I woke up this morning and all the stuff he owned that he was keeping here was gone. Everything just vanished. I thought he was only going to leave for the night. He left forever. At least I was able to spend the rest of the night without out him. Who am I kidding, I spent the rest of the night crying and calling for Ricky to come back. Nothing though, no matter how many times I called his name or I called him, he would not answer back.

I have to keep my hopes up. Ricky probably just went to one of the guys' house. He was originally living with Angelo so he must have gone there. I'll just call Angelo right now.

"Hey." Angelo says after answering the phone.

"Hi." I have problems saying since my voice is so course.

"What's wrong, Ryan?" Angelo asks.

That one sentence tells me Ricky isn't there. If he was then Angelo would have probably known what's wrong. Unless Ricky just showed up and didn't tell Angelo anything. I'm just going to convince myself that the second option is the right option.

"R-Ricky left me l-last n-night. I was j-just calling to see i-if he was at your p-place." I tell Angelo.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, Ryan. Ricky isn't here. Maybe Chris knows where he is. Assuming that to you are at your own place, stay there, I'm on my way." Angelo sympathizes.

"Thank you."  I whisper quietly.

"Anything for you." says Angelo.

I hung up the phone. What to do while I wait. I could think about what I could have done to prevent Ricky from leaving. I could also think about how much I ruined his life with how clingy I am. There is also the possibilities of thinking about how much of a burden I am to people. So many things to think about, not one of them that can help me right now. I just want Ricky.

"Ryan!" I hear Angelo call while entering my apartment.

Guess I was thinking about Ricky for a lot longer than I thought.

"Right here." I answer out.

"I talked to Chris and he told me Ricky isn't there. He also told me that he has been trying to get ahold of Ricky for awhile but there seems to be no answer. I tried myself but I got nothing." Angelo tells me.

"He's gone forever then." I cry out pathetically.

"Maybe not. Let's keep our heads held up high in hopes that he comes back." Angelo says trying to lift my spirits.

"I screwed up big time. I shouldn't have been so stupid. Why do I always ruin everything I ever come in contact with. He was the light of my life. I love him so much but I ruined him. I made him hate me. All my whining and complaining and just overall being stupid. He hates me now." I continue crying.

"Ryan, he will come back, I promise you he will. He just needed some time to think things through." Angelo says with a sturdy and serious voice.

I just whimper in response.

"Come on, let's head out. I know you definitely don't want to but you need to. For the last few months the only time you have left the house is when you go to your therapist. Let's go see a movie or something." Angelo exclaimed.

"I don't want to." I whimpered.

"I don't want you to wither away here in pain and agony. At least go outside for a half an hour." Angelo says trying to reason with me.

"What if you are right and he comes back. I need to be here for when he gets back. Please." I beg Angelo.

"Ryan you know you need to go outside. Stop resisting and let's go." Angelo whines.

"No I can't. Tomorrow." I say forcefully.

"Fine. How do you know Ricky's gone for sure though?" Angelo asks.

"He took all of his stuff while I was sleeping. Everything is just gone." I reply.

"All the stuff he left at my place is still there. I don't think he plans on leaving his laptop anytime soon so let's head to my place. At least then you can have a proper good bye." Angelo says trying again to convince me.

"Fine, let's go." I finally agree.

I'm surprised I have been able to last this long without Ricky. Angelo and I have been sitting in his living room for about 3 hours and no panic attacks. Maybe Ricky is right, maybe it is better for us to leave each other.

A/N
Hello, I am back! I'm so sorry for going m.i.a for a couple weeks but I am back! The weeks I was gone for I was just having a terrible time and didn't have the want to write and everything I was writing was shit. I'm sorry this chapter is very short but the next chapter should be hopefully amazing! Anyways, how was your guys' Halloween? My Halloween was alright, watched movies with my family and ate candy.