The Crossdresser

Chapter 15

I wonder how he knows?! Lol I don't hide it.

Also, the little fight Jamie's head has, please just don't ask. She's always been a little crazy.

"How do you know that?!"

"Emily told me! What does all this mean, Jamie?!"

"Nothing!" I fuckin' turn around and start running the other way. He chases after me. Up the stairs (which is weird that I don't fall down them), down the hallway, and when he touches my shoulder, I open my eyes on the floor.

"I told you, you didn't need that coffee!" Emily yells at me and picks me up. "You tried to whack, Zack! . . . Hey that rhymed!"

I groan. "Jesus, I thought he found out a--" she covers my mouth and signals a 'shh' to me because Zack and Gale are right there. I laugh awkwardly. "Ahahaha," I laugh and then get up. "What happened?"

"You know that coffee makes you sleepy!"

"Oh yeah."

 I sit up on the couch. "What were you dreaming about?" Emily asks. "You got up, and then fell over."

I pull her ear to me. "That you told Zack and Gale who Cameron is."

"I would never do that!" she yells at me knowing it won't give anything away anyways. "I promise Evan and I would never do anything like that! Never, ever, ever!"

Gale's jealousy kicks in. "Evan and you do what?"

"Tell my biggest secret," I say straight out. No use in getting her in trouble for her big mouth.

"Oh."

It's quiet and then I take their cups to be washed. Zack offers to do it though. "No. I'm a guest here so I should help clean."

I go in there and start washing them. That was close one. Deep shit. If my dream had of been real, what the fuck would I have done? I think I would've told the truth, we would've been mad, and then it would've been over with and we would still be friends til he forgave me. Should I do that? Risk him getting mad and probably not knowing what he'll do when he's pissed off at me. I put away the last cup.

Should I?

Yes!

No!

Yes!

No!

Yes!

I said fuckin' no!

Well I said fuckin' yes! YES, YES, YES, YES!

Ha! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! I win!

No you don't!

I sigh and feel in that mood again. My WTF mood. I should.

Ha! I win!

Bastard, we'll see. We'll see you bastard!

What the hell is up with me today? I go into the livingroom. They're talking about how stupid Obama is and I see them all. I'm getting ready to say it. Emily knows and in my dream, they know, so why can't I say it and get it over with? Maybe I'm afraid of them getting mad at me. Dad wouldn't like the fact that I do that . . .

Come on, mouth! Move dammit! I can't open it and say it. I sigh and feel all sorry for myself.

Haha, bastard! Told you I'd win! No always wins!

BLAH!

I smack myself in the head and they look back at me. "Nothing."

Then they slowly begin their conversation again. I go back into the kitchen and splash my face with hot water. I wash it off and go look out the window at the pouring rain. For some reason I feel very useless right now. Very stupid, trashy, horrible, unforgivable, skanky, whatever I can think of. I sigh and my breath hits the window. I draw a frowny face.