Chapter 56
*Six months later*
Chris and I have been dating for a while now, and Nicko and I have a good friendship now. We haven't kissed since that night, and Chris trusts me a lot to be around Nicko. He's told me that he loves me, but I can't find the words to tell him that I can't love him and love Nicko at the same time. He makes me happy, and he makes me feel good, but it doesn't compare to the way Nicko and I were. He doesn't make me weak at the knees with just a goofy smile. He doesn't turn my stomach to mush when he kisses my neck. He doesn't love me the way Nicko loves me.
Nicko is protective over Mia when Chris is around her. He always wants to be around when Chris is with me and her. I know he's scared, that Mia will start to think that Chris is her dad, since he's the one who's holding my hand and kissing my cheek, but I know that will never happen. Mia's face lights up when she see's Nicko and she can't get enough of him. Chris is lucky to get five minutes of her in his arms before she starts wailing.
It didn't start going South until Nicko left for Canada for a movie he was shooting. Chris started spending the night even when I asked him not to, always complaining that he was tired. I didn't want him sleeping in the same bed as me, even though he usually ended up there, his ears deaf to my protests. I remember one night I had playfully tried to push him off but he had grabbed my ankle with enough force to leave bruises the next day. "Don't try that again." He had whispered, so cold that it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I didn't dare protest the next night when he went to sleep with me.
One night, when Mia was fast asleep, Chris came into my bed, and he was naked. He was kissing on my neck and his hand rubbing down between my legs. I was too afraid to tell him to stop so I let him, and soon my clothes were gone too and we had sex the first time in our relationship. He finished within five minutes and rolled off of me, going to sleep immediately.
A couple weeks after Nicko left, Chris brought up the idea of moving into his place.
"I can't I have Mia and all of her stuff. I don't like the idea of moving her environment like that. Besides, we're close to Nicko if I need him."
"Nicko? You need Nicko? Are you fucking kidding me?" He grabbed my neck and pushed me against the wall, his fingers tightening, "You don't need Nicko." He whispered, his eyes wild as he stared at me, "I'm the only one that you need. You don't need anyone else."
"Can't you just move in here?" I tried to reason with him, "I want you here with me."
He finally let go of my throat, "Well alright."
And so he moved in.
~*~
Six days before Nicko came home, Chris hit me for the first time. We had been screaming at each other for a long time, and I told him to get out of my house. Unexpectantly, my cheek burned red, and he once again held me by my throat, "You don't talk to me like that bitch." He bellowed, "I own you! I own your ass! You don't tell me to get out!"
I began nodding, hitting his hands feebly, "Okay! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
"Damn right you're fucking sorry." He whispered, "Now get your ass upstairs and get naked so I can fuck this attitude out of you."
He was worse than Wilmer, mentally and physically degrading me. At least Wilmer had his moments of love, all I saw in Chris' eyes was cold, hard hatred.
Thankfully, he never hit me or yelled in front of Mia. It was always when she was out with my mom, or when she was fast asleep would be slap me around. I know I should've gotten out of there, called my family or Nicko, but I was stuck. I couldn't leave his trap.
