CHAPTER 13
Demi's POV
This is the first time i've left my house in two weeks. Right now, I'm sitting in my car in my driveway trying to talk myself out of going to see him. I still have a ton of stuff at his house that I need to go get. I sighed, and leaned my forehead against the steering wheel fighting tears, I have to be strong right now. I can't give give into the numbness that's threatening my body. I sat up and rubbed my face, then put the car in drive, and began the long drive to Nick's house.
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I pulled up to the huge house and punched in the passcode. the gates swung open. Huh, surprised he didn't change the code. I pulled through and got out, walking up to the door. Before I could knock, the door opened and Nicko stood there, my heart nearly shattered at the sight of him. He grown somewhat of a beard, and was in sweats with a t-shirt. "Yes?" He questioned, bringing my attention back to his face, "I-I... I need my stuff." There was a flicker in Nicko's eyes. Sadness? Pain? Hurt? Regret? Anger? I couldn't put my finger on it. He stepped aside and allowed me into his house.
I walked straight to his bedroom and into the closet. My things were exactly the same way I'd left them. Nicko stood in the doorway but I refused to look at him. I began to shove things into a suitcase, not bothering to fold or roll. A boom of thunder made us both jump, then the rain came. Of course, a complete downpour to complete this wonderful day. I sighed, and continued to pack. Once I'd filled the suitcase I heaved it off the floor and dragged it toward the front door. Nicko appeared in front of me, "The news said not to go outside or drive." I pushed him aside, "That's great." He grabbed my arm, "You can't go out there." I wrenched my arm from his grip, "Watch me." I shoved the heavy suitcase out of the door and immediately was hit with the freezing rain. It was like jumping into a swimming pool. I locked my jaw, and continued to walk towards my car. "Demi come back inside, you're being ridiculous." Nick yelled from the house. I put my middle finger up and fumbled for my keys, muttering curses under my breath when I dropped them into a puddle. As I reached down, a hand snatched them before I could touch them. "Hey-ahhh!" I was lifted into the air hoisted over Nicko's shoulder. He grabbed my bag, lifting it with ease, and began walking back to the house, ignoring me kicking and punching him. He set me down in the doorway and slammed the door behind him. He turned and glared at me, "You're staying. As much as you don't want to be here, I'm not going to let you get hurt out there." I huffed, and crossed my arms, "Fine." He sighed, "Wait here." He walked away, then came back with a bundle of clothes. "Go change out of your wet clothes and put them in the dryer. I turned on my heel and walked to the bathroom, muttering obscenities under my breath.
I walked out of the bathroom dressed in his boxers and a white t-shirt. My eyes were tinged with red from crying, something that the rain had hid. Nicko was sitting on the couch he'd changed also, two steaming mugs on the coffee table in front of him. I sat as far away from him as possible and took a cup, sipping the thick chocolate drink. We sat in silence, until we both spoke at the same time. "Demi-Nicko." I shrunk back, "You first." He shook his head, "No, you." I sighed, trying to put it into words, "Why." He looked puzzled, "Because ladies first..." I shook my head "No, Why did you start acting different?" He looked down at his hands, "Oh." I waited, "The reason I started acting like that.... is because I was scared Dems." I winced at the use of his old Nickname for me, "Scared?" I repeated. He nodded, "I was scared of you getting too close to me. Because I knew you wouldn't like what you saw." I rubbed my eyes, "You really think that low of me?" He shook his head, "Demi you don't know the whole story, you don't know half of what's going on in my head." I moved close to him on the couch, ignoring the pang in my chest as I took his hand. "Then help me understand." He sighed, then let his arms fall forward, staring at them. I followed his gaze and gasped.
His arms were decorated with little red lines. Scars. Left by a silver razor blade, I took his arm, "Nicko..Why?" He shook his head, "As much as you hate me, it doesn't even come close to the amount of self hate I have for myself for what I did to you. I sit alone in this house everyday, and no matter where I look, I'm surrounded of memories of you. In the kitchen, with you attempting to make breakfast. In the bathroom, doing your hair. The bedroom, with you sleeping in my arms. But this room hurts the most. The night you came to me after Wilmer and ruined my couch. It was driving me insane. And I couldn't handle the hatred for myself knowing that i'd hurt you. Knowing that I was te reason for tears on your perfect face, I couldn't deal with it. Losing you killed something in me. and I made the inside match the outside.
Tears came to my eyes as he finished his speech, I took his face in my hands. "Nicko, you never lost me. You lost yourself. You can't shut me out because you're scared. that's something we have to work through. You think i'm completely fearless going into this? Or course not. But you can't expect me not to care. Yeah you made me cry, but can you think of one relationship where the girl doesn't end up crying? Look, Nicko I don't want you to be scared. I'm not going to break your heart, I want to be the one who tries to fix it. But I can't do that if you shut me out." His eyes flickered to my lips and back, his hand moved to the back of my neck, "Can I-" I nodded, "Please." He crashed his lips on mine. I moaned at the relief, knotting my fingers in his hair. His tongue slid against my bottom lip and I automatically granted him entrance, allowing him to explore every inch of my mouth. My fingers hitched under his shirt and pulled it over his head. He shuddered as I ran my hand over the flat panes of his stomach. He pushed his lips back to mine as his hand went between my legs. I pulled away and groaned as he attacked my neck, "O-Oh God Nicko. Bedroom. Now." He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist, walking up to the bedroom.
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I KNOW. I'm really bad at updating, but I hope you like it!
I'm going to start updating once a week! ....hopefully.
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-Rachel(:
