Selfish.
Selfish.
Selfish.
Selfish.
Selfish.
The word gets to ya, doesn't it? The amount of times you hear it makes you want to explode in anger so everyone would shut up already.
That's how I feel every time!!
The word itself sounds weird. When I was really young, I thought "selfish" was a type of fish. Every time I heard that word, I'd think "oh, that's the fish. I wonder what it looks like..."
Until I learned that selfish is not even remotely close to being from the fish species and I was beyond humiliated.
Not the point.
I hated that word. The hate didn't start when I knew what it meant, it started when I couldn't be selfish to myself.
That didn't make sense? Let me elaborate.
I was a pushover. I let people walk over me, I let people use me, and I let people hurt me. I did anything people asked me to do, and I let them be selfish.
Watching them, I realized that I didn't want to be like that. I wanted to be selfless, to put others' needs before mine.
I thought that was the right thing to do. Because being selfish hurt and I didn't want to hurt others the same way they had hurt me.
At that time, I didn't realize that I was hurting the one person that mattered the most. I didn't realize that I had broke her, until I looked into the mirror and couldn't find her.
Every time anyone would tell me I'm selfish, I wouldn't deny it.
I am selfish. I deserve to be selfish because I love myself, and I can't put myself in that position again.
Although, I don't consider myself being selfish to others. I might sometimes act like it just to put up a front. You gotta do what you gotta do, right?
It's the little things you notice about a person. You might not realize that this person might not be selfish at all, and you'll continue to hurt them with it. Try to see it, at least. It'll make a difference, trust me.
The only time you get to be selfish is when it comes to yourself. You might beat up someone, or you might break someone's heart. I honestly don't care, do whatever it takes.
Because when ever you're in pain, when ever you feel used or misunderstood, and when ever someone pushes you down...
Be a selfish motherfucker.
___________
Selfishness: (Noun)
1) A type of fish that had been created by and lives among society.
2) An evil being who survives by putting itself on top and ahead of others.
3) A characteristic of which a person develops through time when he/she realizes he/she loves himself/herself.
YOU ARE READING
How it Works
Non-FictionMany had asked me how does it work, so this is it. My mind is a complex and insane place, read at your own will.
