How it Works

How Valentine's Should be Spent

I don't know if you've noticed (probably not—but I still wrote that cuz I'm so self-centered), but I'm not a festive kind of girl.

Well, I used to be when I once thought that life was always beautifully sunny. Y'know, when I was still a life-virgin.

But then I got fucked and the reality of everything bitch-slapped me in the face.

So no. I don't like celebrating anything. I do it because my family and friends are. I just like seeing them happy, but not actually participating in the festivities.

Anyways,

Let's stop talking about me. Just kidding!

Today's Valentines day.

I remember a few years ago on Valentine's; I was talking to the guy I was in love with and it was pretty obvious I wanted him to ask me to be his valentine.

...........

You could obviously tell it didn't work out.

Then the next valentines, I spent it on doing things that helped me avoid confronting him at any cost cuz the wounds of my broken heart were still fresh.

Then the valentines after that, I spent it with my best friend who just broke up with her boyfriend by buying her buckets of ice cream; then we spent the whole day watching rom-coms.

And the one after that, I spent it by avoiding this guy who had it bad for me. We used to talk, that's all! But he thought we were in a relationship. So much for that...

And the next couple of valentines were spent partying with my friends.

As you can see, I have no fond memories of Valentines. Well, except for the partying. That was awesome.

The only red I got was from my period.

....

....

Too much?

Eh. Don't care.

This year's different.

There's someone now. Someone I really like.

Still, I won't celebrate the day. But it has gotten me thinking about them.

You probably didn't read the previous entry, but I told myself I would try to get know my crush better. To get closer to them. To see if I have a chance.

And of course, I chickened out the first few times; I approach them but then I see their beautiful smile which leads me to walking in the opposite direction.

UGH I AM SO EMBARRASSED AS I WRITE THIS. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'M TELLING YOU THIS.

But then I finally had the courage to talk to them, and it felt like we hadn't stopped talking at all.

God that was such a corny thing to say...er, write.

Back to the main point,

I kinda....possibly...maybe...asked them out?

???

And they kinda, maybe said yes?

???

Initially, I was going with my friends to this festival/event thing but they all bailed on me at last minute; so I asked my crush if they were going.

They said they might be busy, but then asked me if I was going with friends. I told them my friends bailed on me, so I asked them if they would like to join me.

They said ok. With their signature beautiful smile.

..........

..........

I internally fangirled at their answer, but I kept a cool face as they said it.

I. Still. Can't. Believe . It.

I know not to get my hopes up, but this was the first time we're going out. Alone. Just the two of us.

Hopefully.

Sue me for getting a little excited.

But I'm also expecting the worst, so....

Who needs a valentine when you got ice cream? It is the the only joy I will ever need.

Ice cream always mended the wounds of my poor, pathetic heart.

IT LOVED ME WHEN NO ONE DID.

Haha, I was kidding.

........

Probably.

Y'know what? Don't listen to me. Ignore me. Go have fun with your significant others.

If you do not have one, then you can do anything. Watch movies. Eat your heart out in food. Go party. You're not tied down, so you can do whatever the fuck you want!

Peace out, motherfuckers.

. . .

I probably shouldn't end it with that. Never ever.

Happy Valentines day and blah blah blah.

Read ya later!