The Uptown Girl (Jelsa Fanfic) [Under Intense EDITING]

This Is Ourselves Under Pressure

Okay, you're all probably mad but...

Merry Christmas

And here's some tissue..?

Chapter 63

Jack's POV

I never thought that there would come a day when I'd see one of my best friends be buried -- well, not this young, at least.

And I'm just such a wreck and I feel so numb, and I keep repeating to myself that no, this was not happening and yes, everything was eventually going to be okay.

Okay.

The word seems almost foreign to me. I tried wracking my brain for the last memory of me being okay.

And after contemplating for a few minutes, a small-- almost nonexistent --smile graced my lips. It wasn't wide or anything but still, it was a smile. I smiled ever so slightly because I can recall my last moment of being okay, it wasn't too long ago though, in fact it had only been yesterday. Yesterday, when Elsa was beside me.

Because yes, I am starting to lose my grip of sanity and yes, I can feel my world spinning, my world crumbling, but maybe being with Elsa was enough, maybe it was all I needed, maybe.

You'd probably be wondering why I feel so traumatized. Oh god, Jack, what's with this deep depression?

Well maybe it's because it hurts to feel. I've mostly been a cold person growing up for the fear of being able to feel. I've engraved it in my mind that any spark of emotion would mean weakness and I didn't want that. But not being able to feel made me miss out so much, it never made me truly happy. Yes, I  could joke and laugh around, but everyone was good at that, everyone could put up a facade to trick people into thinking that they were fine. But soon enough though, Elsa somehow broke pass these walls I have surrounded myself with. I don't know if she even tried but hell, she sure did make an impact on me and slowly, I felt myself being able to feel again.

Maybe it was good, maybe it was bad. But then again, it was mostly good. I had never been happier in my entire life and I wouldn't trade a single moment I had with Elsa for anything.

But now as I helplessly watch as they bury my best friend six feet under the ground, I was starting to test that theory.

I was never a fan of funerals--I'm guessing no one actually is-- especially burying the dead. I don't like the idea of placing anyone's body underground and just leaving them there to rot, it's just too much for me to bear.

And so after I whispered my last goodbyes and placed a flower on her coffin as they lowered it down, I sprinted away, wishing that the wind would just wipe my miseries away.

------

Elsa's POV

Jack ran off once he had said his supposedly final goodbye to Venice. He didn't want to do a speech anyway, I don't blame him though. I don't need people reciting empty, unmeaningful words of sympathy. I know not all people are like that but some are.

No, I didn't follow Jack. I know that he needs space and I'm going to give him that. I sighed as they had begun refilling the hole once again as I close my eyes in contemplation as I reminisce Venice's final words.

"Take care of Jackson."

It echoed in my head like some sort of mantra.

"Take care of Jackson."

And the guilt was eating me up alive, for lying to him, for leaving him clueless as to what I was about to say.

I just hate it, I hate the fact that I'm keeping a secret that has been kept too long to prevent any damage anymore.