As My Memory Rests

Chapter 17

Cassandra's POV:

I woke up and it felt like someone had literally stabbed me in the eyes. Then I remembered last night, my mom, she was gone. I wanted to cry but I just couldn't. I was sad, but something gave me faith to carry on, and that something was snuggeled up right behind me with his arm slung tightly around my waist. I tired to wiggle out but his grip got tighter.

"C'mon. Let go! Dad!" I yelled, still struggling.

"No, 5 more minutes!" he whined. I started laughing.

"You sound like me on a school day, seriously get let go!" I sassed and he let go of me. I shook myself free, but I didn't get up. I just looked at Billie, I was so lucky to have someone who cared about me so much. I scooted closer to him and inhaled the smell of his leather jacket. It smelt like old cigarettes, weed, alcohol, sweat, and on top of it all, cologne. It smelt like home. "I'm sorry for being a bitch yesterday." I sighed.

"Don't be, you were in shock. How are you feeling today?" he asked lightly stroking my hair.

"I'm kinda depressed but I'm better than I was yesterday." I sighed. I honestly didn't know how I was feeling, I wanted to scream, but it was like my voice was gone ever time I tried. It was weird. 

"Yeah, I figured. That's why I stayed with you last night." he said and I smiled, "Okay well, I'm up now. I'm going to make some coffee, do you want any?" he asked, kissing my forehead and getting out of bed.

"Yes please!" I said. I got out of bed and checked my face in the mirror. Well I looked lovely, like a raccoon in a waterpark. I cleaned up the underneath of my eyes and walked out to the couch. It was weird to think my mom was gone, I didn't really know how to think straight. "Will you watch me the next few nights? I'm afraid I will have another panic attack." I said, as Billie handed me my coffee,

"Of course, kiddo. I wanted to ask you something." he said looking serious,

"Okay." I said taking a sip of the hot coffee.

"Will you sing back up for us? I know we touched briefly on it yesterday in the limo, but this is me formally asking you to sing with us." Billie said and I smiled, I was touched.

"I'd love that!" I said.

"Great. We will start practice well, whenever you are ready to." Billie said.

"Can I start today? I need to get my mind off of all of this, y'know?" I asked.

"Of course! Shower up, and we can go meet Tré and Mike in there." Billie said. I nodded and headed to the shower. I took a quick shower and hopped out. I threw on dark skinny jeans, white converse, and a purple knit sweater. "You ready?" Billie asked as I finally came out.

"Yeah." I sighed, and grabbed my phone.

"It gets better. Trust me, it does. If you want to talk about anything I'm-" I cut off Billie by hugging him tightly,

"Thank you." was all I said before the doors to the stage opened.

XXX

"Hey squirt!" Mike said giving me a sympathetic smile.

"Hey." I said forcing a smile.

"TINY!" Tré yelled and gave me another bone crushing hug.

"Hi Tré" I said.

"You ready fuck shit up?" Tré asked.

"Fuck yeah!" I screamed.

"Hey Cassy, you should play guitar too!" Billie suggested.

"Yeah, but I don't know all the chords to all your songs!" I sighed.

"C'mon, you have to know at least one song by us, I know you know Wake Me Up When September ends." he said and I felt a pain in my chest, mom.

"Uh well yeah, I know a few." I fake smiled.

"Well when you know them just play alright? I'm more worried about Harmony." Billie said.

"Harmony is easy! I know most of your Harmony anyways!" I said and Billie laughed.

"Well alright, someone's confident!" Billie laughed and then began to play Boulevard Of Broken Dreams. I sang along doing my harmonizing when it was needed.

"Damn Cassy! You're amazing!" Mike gushed.

"Thanks." I smiled, it was a real smile this time.

"No problem! Let's keep going!" Mike yelled and started playing Lazy Bones. We went through so many songs I felt my voice starting to go horse.

"Okay! Last song then we can rest till the concert!" Billie said. "What do you say we do Fuck Time?" Billie smiled at Tré and Mike.

"Uh yeah, I'm not comfortable singing that song with you..." I said and Mike and Tré laughed.

"What? Why no-oh, OHHH yeah. Don't sing this song. Just-don't, you can just chill out for a while or go back to the buses." Billie said and I laughed.

I honestly didn't want to be alone right now so I sat down on the stage floor and watched Billie sing. It was extremely awkward to watch your dad who you've only known for two months sing about fucking, I don't even know how to explain it. After they were done with the songs we all headed back to the buses.

XXX

"Let's go fucking crazy, Alright?" Billie screamed and I laughed. I stood in the back and looked out into the sea of people. I'm so lucky that my first performance is a small venue, otherwise I'd be having a panic attack.

"Ooooo St. jimmy." I sang, my voice mirroring Mike's he looked over at me and gave me a reassuring smile. We kept playing and we were at the last song, Brutal Love which required no backup so I just stood there and smiled. "Ladies and Gentleman, TRÉ COOL, MIKE DIRNT, JASON WHITE, JASON FRESE." Billie yelled and the crowd cheered In between each name. "And lastly, the newest audition to our team, my daughter Cassy King!" he yelled pulling me down from where I was standing and lifted my arm up. The crowd cheered and I smiled widely.

Billie gave me a little hug and girls around the arena 'aw'd' at us. "Thank you!" Billie yelled. He grabbed my hand and quickly dragged me off stage,

"Go Tiny!" Tré yelled high-fiving me. I beamed with joy, that was the most fun I've ever had.

"That was fucking awesome Cassy!" Mike added.

"You were amazing Kiddo, now let's go back to the buses. I really don't wanna deal with the fans tonight. I'm too tired." Billie said and I laughed. We went back to the bus and I actually slept with surprisingly no Panic attacks.

XXXXXXX

A/N: So, a little more of a happy chapter to end the night!!! Hope you enjoyed it! Leave comments! Cassy is getting over her panic attacks, but the real drama is yet to begin!! ~Jane