As My Memory Rests

Chapter 23

Billie's POV:

"Uh alright?" I said and I felt a pain in my stomach.

"You need to come down to the office again tomorrow to sign paperwork for foster care. We understand you would like to adopt Cassandra?"

"Yes! Is that a possibility?" I asked.

"Well, we would have to do background checks and a few other safety precautions. It is possible." the way he said 'Possible' made cringe. "It should take a few months so in that time, Cassandra would still need to be put into foster care." the C.P.S. agent said.

"If she was my child, She wouldn't have to go into foster care. She would  be able to stay with us while I signed the paperwork, correct?" I asked,

"Yes, I'm very sorry Mr. Armstrong. We are sending over the Adoption papers now by email." He said.

"Alright, thank you." I sighed and hung up.

I didn't really know how to react. I slowly brought myself up to Cassy's room. The closer I got the more sick I felt. How was I going to tell her? She's had a pretty screwed up life and I thought that when she lived with us, it would get better. Now her life is going to get even more insane. Cassy's bedroom door was open and I heard her strumming her Acoustic guitar. It took me a minute but then I realized she was playing an acoustic version of East Jesus Nowhere. She began singing and I smiled. How were we not related? I honestly don't understand. We had the same love for guitars, the same voice, Same hair-before I died mine-, same eyes. Fuck it. I had to tell her.

"Hey, Cassy?" I knocked on the side of the wall.

"Come in!" She called. I slowly walked in and she smiled.

"Hey!" she said,

"Hey." I said softly.

"What's up?" she asked.

"Uh well the test results came in!" I said and I could already feel the lump in my throat.

"Oh yeah. And?" she asked still strumming her guitar, she was taking this so lightly.

"Cassy." I said sternly and she looked up. "The results were negative." I said and her eyes widened. She put her guitar on its stand and turned to me.

"So we're not-I mean I'm not-You're not my dad?" she asked,

"I don't know how I'm not! Have you looked at us? I don't know why they came back negative!" I yelled.

"Maybe because my mom was secretly in love with you!" she yelled,

"What?" I asked. "Well obviously, you slept together! Maybe she had feelings for you, but didn't tell you. Maybe she secretly wanted to be  with you and so she slept with a guy that looked like you and just told herself it was you! I mean you said she was on drugs! She was probably high when she slept with my dad!" she screamed, tears forming in her eyes.

"No. That's not possible. She never did any hallucinogenic drugs! Cassy! You need to calm down." I yelled.

Cassy was starting to shake, she was having a panic attack. She couldn't talk anymore, she just looked at me and began slowly falling to the ground. I ran over to her and sat her up. "Breathe, Cassy. It's going to be okay just put your head between your legs and breathe." I said. Cassy obeyed, still shaking. Her breaths finally went back to normal but she didn't look up, she was, crying? "Shh Cassy. It's alright." I said hugging her. She sat up and cried into my chest. "No mater what happens, you will always be my daughter and I will always be your father. Blood related or not. I'm not going to let them hurt you." I said.