Never Expected (a Chandler Riggs/Grayson Riggs fanfic)

My Life Is Over

"Daniel...? Are you all right?" Hana asked.
I didn't respond. I just ran upstairs and entered Grayson's bedroom. I just hopped onto the bed, faced the wall and just started crying.
"I--I can't believe it. How could this have happened? They didn't hurt anyone. They didn't deserve to die. They still had a whole life ahead of them. I'd give away my soul to hold them once again and never let those moments end."
I took out my phone and started looking at the pictures I had taken. I had more pictures of my kids then anything else. The photos I had of them dated back to the day they were born up until now. Just looking at them made me only feel worse. Even if I thought of some happy memories I still cried. I'm not sure if I'll ever be happy again. My whole life is over.

5 minutes later
I was still facing the wall when I heard Chandler's voice.
"Hey."
"Hi."
"How are you?" Chandler asked.
"Mal." I replied.
"Mal?" Chandler questioned.
"It means bad in French." I answered.
"Oh. I'm sorry for your loss. If there's anything you need, anything at all just let us know." Chandler stated.
"I will." I responded. "(Whispers) Not that it will do much good anyway."
"Want to head back to the park?"
"No. I just want to be left alone for now, ok? When I feel like it I'll come out."
"Ok."
"Just come check on me every once in awhile, please."
"I will. You have my word."

Chandler's POV
I returned back downstairs and was immediately confronted by Hana and Grayson.
"Well? How is he?" Hana asked.
"He's not doing so well and I don't blame him, he just lost both of his kids. He told me that he wants to be left alone for now, but I'll be going to check on him from time to time." Chandler responded.
"So, what do you guys want to do in the meantime?" Grayson asked.
"We could just stay down here and watch TV." Hana suggested. "It looks like your parents are watching Cold Case."
We all took our seats in the living room and just enjoyed the show.
Halfway through the show I got up and headed upstairs. I approached Grayson's room and could see that Daniel was on the phone.

Daniel's POV
"I still can't believe it, Tracy. My kids never hurt anyone, they didn't deserve to die, they were still so young. They were my whole world. They meant everything to me. I'd give anything to see them again...to hold them one last time. It's never going to be the same."
"I know. And I'm truly sorry Daniel."
"Thank you, Tracy."
"So, what's your plan?"
"I'd like for you to come and collect me so that I can grab my stuff and some of my kids school pictures. Then I'd like for you to drive me back, I'm moving back in."
"Sure thing. What time should I be there by?"
"8:30."
"I'll do my best."
"Thanks."
"No problem."
"Bye."
"Bye."
I hung up the phone and turned my body to find Chandler who was standing in the doorway.
"Hey."
"Feeling better?"
"Somewhat, yeah."
"Ready to come down? Or do you still need more time? I don't want to rush you."
"Just a little bit longer. I just want to be sure, you know?"
"Yeah, I understand."
"So, you're moving back in?"
"I am. I don't think I could handle living in Tracy's house. It would just be a constant reminder and I'd probably off myself."
"I hate to ask this but, let's say you did move back to Tracy's and everyday you would either call me or Grayson for help, would you still off yourself?"
I hesitated for awhile but I finally built up the courage to answer.
"Yes. As much as I hate to admit it, I would. I'm sorry. I know you all care about me...a lot, but no matter how much help I would receive, nothing would ever ease the pain I'd be feeling."
Chandler was speechless and from the look on his face I could tell that he couldn't believe what he had just heard.
"I hate to ask but, would you still off yourself even if we were to come and visit you?"
"Well, I'd be hesitant if that's what you're asking. I'd be looking at stuff like knives, water, etcetera and be thinking to myself should I do it or should I just keep holding on?" I replied. "I wouldn't want to hurt any of you, you guys have shown me a kindness that I haven't seen in a long time. You guys took me in when I lost my parents so that I wouldn't have to live out on the streets and I'm forever grateful. I know that we're not blood related and that we don't have to be, but I am glad that I have you guys to call....my family."