Never Expected (a Chandler Riggs/Grayson Riggs fanfic)

I Still Can't Get Over It

I woke up 7 hours later to find out that it was 12:30 a.m. So I decided to go get something to drink. I headed downstairs and headed to the fridge, I opened it and took out a gallon of chocolate milk, I opened the cupboard and took out a plastic glass, I practically filled the glass to the top. I chugged everything that I poured and then poured me a second cup. I put the milk away and used my foot to close the fridge and headed back upstairs with my cup. Once I was back in my room I walked up to the bed and placed my cup on the bedside table. I sat down on the bed, but when I did I apparently woke up Grayson.
"Daniel, what are you doing up?" Grayson asked, in his tired voice.
"I just woke up to get myself a drink."
"Okay, well I'm going back to sleep and I want you to do the same once you're done your drink."
"I'll try to."
It only took Grayson five minutes to fall back asleep."
Instead of chugging my drink I only drank a quarter of it and tried my best to go back to sleep but I couldn't, I was too busy thinking about my mom, my girlfriend, and my kids. I thought for sure that the therapy had worked, but I guess not. I tried to fall asleep one last time, but I still couldn't. So I headed back downstairs and warmed up my chocolate milk. I warmed it up until I could see steam and then headed back upstairs once again. On my way up I drank another quarter of it and once I was back on my bed I drank the rest, placed the cup back on the bedside table and tried to go back to sleep for a third time, this time it actually worked. When I started to dream I only dreamt about my kids, only this time I watched as Kaden was murdered by a mysterious black figure and I was powerless to do anything, I couldn't move to save him, but then I watched as Alice took her own life by cutting both of her wrists. Obviously I was crying and I was practically asking God to kill me, but he didn't, no matter how much I begged him to. I woke up only two hours later and this time I stayed awake for the rest of the night. I was on my bed, lying on my chest and I was crying into my pillow.
"Why did I have to have such an horrible dream?"
I had been crying for about five minutes now and soon enough I could feel someone rubbing my back, I lifted my head and saw that it was Grayson, but I immediately placed my head back into my pillow.
"Is everything ok Daniel?"
I just shook my head. To be honest I didn't really want to talk about it, but then I remembered that Chandler and Grayson told me that I could always talk to them about anything that was troubling me.
"Do you want to talk about it, Daniel?"
Grayson stopped rubbing my back and I sat up and looked up at him.
"I had one awful dream before I woke up at 2:30 a.m."
"What was it about?"
I wasn't sure if I wanted to answer, but then I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down and proceeded to answer Grayson's question.
"In my dream I was watching my children die and I was powerless to do anything. I couldn't move, so I just asked God to kill me, but no matter how hard I prayed he didn't do it. I guess the therapy didn't work after all. I don't think that I'll ever get over the loss of my children. I wish that I could've saved them. They didn't deserve to die. I just wish that I could see them again, even if it means that I have to give up my soul or take my life. I'm beginning to think that I should commit suicide, but this time I'm going to make sure that I actually succeed."
By the looks of it Grayson was speechless, it was either that or he was thinking about what he would say.
"Daniel, I know that you're upset that you lost your children, but do you really think that they want you to commit suicide?"
"It's the only way that I get to see them again."
"Daniel, suicide is never the answer. Remember how you almost succeeded that one time when I was talking you out of it?"
"Yes. I fell but I managed to grab the branch that was near the ground and saved my life."
"What would your parents say? What would your girlfriend say? What would your kids say if the found out that you were going to take your own life? I'm sure that they wouldn't be pleased. If you went through it, I would NEVER forgive you and I'm pretty sure that the rest of your family wouldn't forgive you. You should really think about how we would feel if you actually succeeded. We don't want to lose you. You're our brother and family sticks together through thick and thin. Please Daniel, please don't do this. You mean a lot to us and you always make us laugh with your jokes and you always come up with some crazy games, plus you're just starting to become an author, what would your fans think if they found out. Before you do anything regretful, I want you to look at something."
Grayson headed to the bedside table and opened up the drawer. He pulled out a photo album and took it to Daniel.
"Please take a look at this. I'm sure that it'll help you see the light."
I took the photo album out of Grayson's hands and opened it. I looked through the pages and each page consisted of a picture of me, Chandler, and Grayson. It also had a picture of the whole family together.
"Thanks for showing this to me Grayson. I'll be sure to think my decision through and if I do attempt it I'll be sure to think about this moment."
"Please don't attempt it, if you do I won't talk to you for at least two weeks and I'm sure that Chandler will do the same."
"Okay. Can I tell you something? Something that you'll hate?"
"I guess."
"I told my kids that if I ever lost them, that I would take my own life, because I wouldn't be able to live without them."
"Why would you say that to them?"
"They're my own flesh and blood. What parent could live without their children? It's something that you will never get over with. It would take a long time to get over it."
"I don't think I want to be around you right now. I might come back to check on you every now and then, but I'll only stay in the doorway."
"Fair enough, bye."
"Bye. I'll come check on you in an hour."
"Okay. See ya."
After that Grayson left the bedroom and went downstairs.