You Hate Me, I Used to Love You (Completed)

:)

You know what I "love"? when ppl say something like "says you" or "of course YOU'D say that" like that's so rude and like stop it. Like not to my face like stfu. Obviously I did that shit but if you never said that none of this would've happened today. Like okay thanks. The night's I drink, in comparison to those where I do not, vary in depth. Not only in depth, but also in the darkness of my thoughts. My reality disappears when I drink. I lack a care for how my thought's will effect others minds.When I'm drunk, my chest is numb and my mind is cloudless. I'm like, this isn't my cup of tea; this is my tenth shot of vodka in the middle of this night when nothing else is going right and I'm about to break down in a way that matches the music playing. But like I know who I was thinking of. The hardest lesson you will ever learn will be to love yourself. But you can do it. There will always be days when you hate yourself, days when you wish you had never been born. But darling, you are beautiful, and if Shakespeare had met you, you would've inspired his 18th sonnet, and if Monet had known you, he would've given up painting water lilies and chosen to paint you instead. I know it's hard to love yourself, but sometimes it's okay to be a little selfish with your love. When you begin to feel worthless, remember that the stars died for you. You are made of elements that are thousands of years old, elements that make up every atom of your being. When you want to cut your wrists, remember that the souls of stars live in your veins. Don't kill them. Live for the life you always wanted but were too scared to pursue. Live for you. Live for me. Live for every person who has ever loved you, for the people who have come before you, so that you may be here today. Live for the fire that burns in your soul, that tells you: keep going, you're almost there, just a little farther.But you see, you are so much more than my other half, you are my whole world.Don't ever give up on something or someone that you can't go a day without thinking about. Can you guess who I'm talking about yet?Why won't you talk to me? I want you to talk to me. I miss talking to you. Please talk to me. Let me know that you still want to talk to me.You always look so cool.All I can think about is you and how much you mean to me.life is too short not to take some risk. so do it, jump even when the people behind you are telling you other wise. it's not their life, it's yours.He smiled and all I can think was "Oh shit".Your smile can put my mind at ease but it can also bring me to my knees.Oh god I'm so in love with you. I don't think you understand.. It's taken all of me to finally get to where I am.I wish you'd know how special you are.Say something or I'm giving up on you.And I still can't understand how you felt like a dream; even while my whole life was a nightmare.You're something I need but can't have.I don't know what it is about you but I don't want to lose it, because I'll never be able to find it in anyone else. Still don't know? I do.He makes everything better.When I heard the loveless voice coming from his mouth, a cloud sat over my head. The rain started to hit my face, mixing with the tears strolling down my cheeks.How beautiful is it that someone could make your heart beat so fast, when you don't want it to beat at all? I talk to him all the time.I have so much of you in my heart.