You Hate Me, I Used to Love You (Completed)

Chapter 11

A/N: WOW! thank you for all the nice feedback in DM! i was suprised. so thank you lots! 

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I got a new math seat. Once again  next to him. 

It's like im always next to him. 

In French he was annoying me so i gave him a dirty look and he saw. of course. 

I'm waiting for the day for when i just start crying and telling him to shut up.

It's happened before cuz someone i hated was annoying me.

So like today he wasn't here so i was like WOOO! I had a great day tbh. 

I mean I felt like i was able to do anything i could without worrying what he'd think.

When he's around i feel like i can't be myself and end up completely embarrassing myself.

I don't try to show off. I really dont. It's really just my personality. 

But i just realized that thanks to Cole, I have my best story and best feedback so thanks....

I wish i can tell him that.

It's funny really.

When he wasn't here today Most of me felt happy but the other side was like "I hope he's okay" then "No i hope he's got Ebola"  "You love him"  "You hate him"  "I wish i knew if he was okay"  "I hope he's dead"

Like thats what went through my head all day.

Then there's this boy in 8th grade who likes me. During lunch he tried to give me a donut and i felt really like REALLY bad! And today he gave me a milk which is really good chocolate milk but i dont want him wasting his money on me!

I think i feel bad because i hate the feeling of rejection and i don't want to make anyone feel that way. I just don't know what to say to him. 

But he's older than me so its a bit weird.

I think he's like mental or something. Idk but he said i have cute eyes. 

Back to Cole.....

I really do have a long history with him. I think i already said but here it goes again. 

Summer 2013 (bummer 13 in my words)

COP GOES TO COLES HOUSE CUZ I TOOK PIC OF MY BOOBS CUZ I GOT DEATH THREATS UNDER HIS NAME

I CUT MYSELF IN FRONT OF HIM @ SCHOOL ON JANUARY 14TH 2014. THE NEXT DAY I HAD TO BRING HIM IN THE HALL TO SAY SORRY.

ON VALENTINES DAY MY FRIEND ASKED HIM OUT FOR ME WHEN I HAD NO IDEA AND THEN HE THOUGHT I BOUGHT HIM CANDY.

HE STARTED A CONVO ABOUT MY BOOBS SAYING THEY'RE "COCONUTS" THEN WENT TO "EXTREME HILLS" (KEEP IN MIND HE SAW A PIC OF MY BOOBS"

WONT TALK TO ME. 

7TH GRADE 

WALKS PAST DOOR TO FIRST CLASS SEE'S COLE MOUTHS "FUCK" AND HE SEE'S

NEXT PERIOD I HAVE CLASS WITH HIM AND HE MADE HIS FRIEND ASK WHAT I HAD NEXT AND I SAID MATH AND HE WENT "AWW" 

THEN NEXT THING YOU KNOW WE HAVE EACH CLASS TOEGTHER. (i travel with whole class each academic so i stay with same ppl each second pretty much)

GET'S SEAT WITH HIM IN MATH.

OPENS SEMEM CREAM 

GETS SEAT MOVED BEHIND/ NEXT TO HIM

TALKS A BIT

TALKS MORE

STARES EVERY SECOND AT ME

GETS SEAT AGAIN NEXT TO HIM ONCE AGAIN. 

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Now there really is TONS more but i dont wanna get into it all.

So He was here today. 

I walked in french and notice him and give him a dirty look.

 during math i sit next to him and i said "im gonna kill my goldfish"

and he said it to himself and laughed.

We're on to something................

"Don't cry because of them, be stronger than anything they can say okay?!"

Thats what my twitter bestie Morgane said. ( follow her! @Morgane_098)

Am is in the morning: from 00h (Minuit) to 12h (midi) and PM is for the afternoon from 13h (1h de l'après-midi) to 00h :)

she taught me that or french. she's very nice. i like talking to her.