You Hate Me, I Used to Love You (Completed)

Chapter 1

Here I am again. A new school year, 7th grade (10/8/15 im in 8th now and i'm really not into him anymore but this is still interseting) and of course each class with that thing.

That thing is something or someone Who goes by the name Cole. We despise each other. I bet if one of us had the opportunity to push one of us off a cliff; we'd do it.

Here's the thing, he broke my heart bad. Really bad. I remember when I first met him in 4th grade. We were under a slide. I told him my best friend Meg liked him. Little did I know, the boy I met under the slides would be a HUGE part of my life. A bad part and a beautiful part causing so much trouble.

We're a love story gone wrong. That's it. It's ongoing. It leaves me wondering so much.

Cole knows everything about me. How I cut myself, me being in a behavioural health hospital. I've been FORCED to talk to the poor boy. No wonder he hates me. He doesn't give me a last chance. I'm not as bad as he thinks I am. Or am I?

I remember it all started in fifth grade. Here's how it went down at first:

*Fifth Grade*

"You should get a boyfriend Brie" Said Audrey, a girl in my grade. "Okay" We looked around t the basketball court where all the boys were. We were at the top of the slides. "How about Cole" I said. "You two would be perfect for each other! You have the same personality. You kinda look alike too..." (This is a real convo. Almost all of them are) "Okay?" I said. "I'll ask him at lunch" my other friend Diana, who moved to Texas at the end of 6th grade said.

•Lunch•

I remember looking at him lost in my thoughts wondering if he'd say yes or no.

•End of Flashback•

Even now I'm in 7th grade, people still say we look alike and have lots in common. Even people who don't even know about us say we'd be perfect for each other. I know that. He doesn't. He doesn't understand. It's not like I can get a friend to day you'd be perfect for each other. He'd know I'd set it up.

I have friends who just tease me about him. "CD" "PSP" some inside jokes. It's funny. I have no problem with it but sometimes I get annoyed. I don't think I blush but I see the looks on everyones face. I'm blushing.

I can remember seeing Diana across the lunch room giving me a thumbs up. "He said yes?" I asked. "Yup!" Now it literally spread around so fast like when your gossiping in the girls bathroom and someone says something and a hour later, everyone knows!

I don't remember the feeling of when he said yes. All I know is that he made me smile.

But I do and always will remember the feeling of heartbreak. It sucks. And the worst part is; he was the one who taught me love, and the one who gave me heartbreak.

You know when you look at someone and just think "so freaking ugly or annoying" but you don't even realize you really love them? Everyday I say to my best friend "so ugly" "so annoying" The only reason I say that is to try to get away from the heartbreak and tell myself "I'm too good for him"

But I'm not. I don't think I'm good enough for anyone. Some kids are telling me "you have lots of pimples" You never say that to a girl #1 and #2 you don't gotta make it worse and hurt my feelings. It makes me feel ugly when I look in the mirror. I'm embarrassed to be in the same room as Cole.

When I sit my thighs expand to the size of Russia. It's really embarrassing walking down the halls and having boys staring at you... awkward. Especially if its the wrong person.

But I think the worst pain in the world is to look into the yes of someone you love, and they look away...it hurts. Bad.

*A/N: Now if you're reading this and you're from my school and know me, please, PLEASE dont say anything to Cole or anyone about this and keep it private. Please? And any readers, please understand this is my diary so please keep reading as i update :) thx* ~Brie

6.5.16 hey everyone! My story actually recently ended so read it all. The ending is the best 😉 and I'll probably update once in a while to tell you how I'm doing and stuff :-)