I need help, Miss Lovato

Chapter 4

I walked into Miss Lovatos classroom with my head down, it was lunch and I had a feeling Miss Lovato was going to make me eat 'hey sweetie, come sit down' she motioned for me to sit on another chair next to hers 'now what happened this morning?' I looked down, I will get into more trouble if I lie so I might as well tell her 'my old roommate beat me up and called me fatass, worthless the usual' I shrugged 'that's not okay Lyric! Did she get into trouble?' I shook my head 'I did' Miss Lovato looked concerned and confused 'She fake cried and told Laura that I did those things to her, so I got into trouble, but Margret wrote this letter for me so I wouldn't get into trouble at school' Miss Lovato nodded, I looked up and she gasped 'your eye! Did Bailey do this' I nodded 'oh sweetheart' she mumbled 'now I need to talk to you about your paper' I looked down again 'is it bad?' She lifted my chin 'it's amazing, but it's the content that has me worried' I nodded 'you read Spanish?' She shook her head 'I had my boyfriend come in and translate for me' I felt kind of bad she had to do that 'sweetheart, you don't want to do these things do you?' I shook my head quickly, lying obviously, Miss Lovato let out a sigh of relief? 'Have you ever hurt yourself like you wrote, or thought about it' I shook my head again, lying again, I did feel bad for lying but I let her find out about the purging she can't find out anything else 'okay, but if you ever do I am right here for you okay? You can come and talk to me' I nodded 'now I brought you this, cause I know you ain't bringing your own lunch' she handed me the sandwich, I put it down until front of me 'I'm not hungry' she looked at me 'did you eat breakfast this morning' I nodded quickly, she raised her eyebrows 'no' she sighed 'did you eat dinner last night?' I shook my head 'sweetheart it's not healthy to do this to yourself' I shrugged 'but I need to' she shook her head 'you don't and I wish you could see that, you are way to skinny and it's scary, when I first saw you I could see your hip bones and ribs through your tshirt, if you don't start eating then you could die' she said firmly 'maybe that would be a good thing' I mumbled intending for her to not hear, she gasped and a tear run down her cheek 'no sweetie it wouldn't be, do you want to die?' She asked softly 'sometimes' I whispered she pulled me off of the chair and into her embrace 'I'd be real sad if you did sweetheart' she said whilst hugging me 'but no one really would, I live in an orphanage no one would care, I don't even have parents!' I half yelled she held me tighter and wiped my eyes 'I would care, a lot you gotta eat for me?' I sighed and picked up the sandwich. Every bite was like torture but I managed to eat it all, and now my stomach is killing me. I wrapped my arms around my stomach and whimpered, Miss Lovato wrapped her arms around me again 'it hurts' I whimpered 'I know beautiful but we just gotta push through the pain' the bell rang and Miss Lovato let go and told me to sit in my seat. As the kids started to pile in my stomach got worse, I put my head on the desk and let tears stream down my face. After thirty minutes I felt a hand on my back, I looked up from the desk and saw Miss Lovato crouched down next to my desk 'still hurts?' She whispered I nodded 'wanna go to the nurse' I shook my head fiercely, I wanted to stay with Miss Lovato 'sweetheart it's pretty hot in here why don't you take your jacket off, you look like you are going to pass out' I shook my head again 'I'm fine thanks though Miss Lovato' she looked at me curiously 'okay here you want to show me what you are working on?' Miss Lovato had given us free time to work on what we wanted to work on, I was currently writing an essay using numbers, probably don't get that? Yeah well basically each letter of the alphabet has a number, like a is 1 and so on up to 26, so if I need to use that letter I use the number, miss Lovato looked at it and furrowed her eyebrows 'it's for gym, we have to write an essay on something we are passionate about so I wrote it like this' she giggled 'can you read it to me?' I nodded 'the young girl was terrified to walk down the hallway of her school, every tiny sound made she would jump, terrified that they might walk around the corner and abuse her with their words. She was watching all around her waiting for them to show up. A group of girls started to walk down the hallway towards the young girl, the tallest one pushed her to the ground. They shouted abuse at the young girl as she cowered and hid her face, tears running down her cheeks. After the day was done the young girl ran home to her mother 'I wish they would just hit me momma, their words hurt more than a punch ever will' the young girl sobbed to her mother, her mother soothed her and held her close, wishing that the children would leave her daughter alone. After being soothed by her mother the young girl retreated to her bedroom, the words the young girls had said swirling around her head. She contemplated for a while before picking up a pen, and getting a piece of paper. Tears streamed down her face as she wrote 'it feels like I'm alone, but there are people surrounding me, I can see their mouths moving but can't hear a thing they say, I feel empty and dead' she said as she wrote. Putting the note on the bed the young girl filled a backpack with everything she needed, she snuck in and kissed her little sister on the head before jumping out of the window and running for the woods, where she shall be found hanging from a tree branch two days later.' I hadn't realized I was crying until Miss Lovato who was also crying wiped away my tears, I did the same to her 'don't cry miss Lovato' she sighed 'I remember saying that to my mom when I was a kid' I hugged her 'you're strong miss Lovato I can tell by your eyes' she smiled at me, a warm smile a mother would give her child 'I wish I had a momma' I said quietly to myself not intending for Miss Loavto to hear, but judging by the look on her face she heard.