I need help, Miss Lovato

Chapter 30

Demi

My baby, my precious little babygirl.

I can't even think, I feel so numb.

She could die, my baby could die.

If Maddie wasn't there she would already be dead.

Maddie fainted from shock, not that I blame her, if I could actually feel and process things right now I'd probably have done the same.

I can't live without Lyric, I cannot live without her. God this is all my fault, if I didn't put her on that eating disorders ward she would have been with me and not out trying to kill herself. I'm so stupid, and now she could die, I killed my daughter.

I need my blade, and a way to get away from Dallas, who's been watching me like a hawk. I stood up from the chair I was in and Dallas eyed me suspiciously

'I'm going to the bathroom' I announced, I'd stopped crying now, I feel so detached from reality.

'Like hell you are, sit down Demi' Dallas said, in an stern yet caring tone

'I'm fine Dallas' my voice lacked any sort of emotion, I quickly walked out of the waiting room they had placed us in before Dallas could protest. I ran to the furthest bathroom and quickly locked the door to the bathroom, I frantically searched my purse for the blade I knew I had in here and located it in the bottom. My thoughts were racing and all I could focus on was the piece of metal in my hands. I need a release and I need it now, I can't be strong without my baby, especially when it's all my fault.

I rolled down the top of my pants and my underwear and without hesitation dragged the blade across my hip. I had forgotten what it felt like, god did I need this. My phone started to ring and I didn't answer because I knew it would be Dallas. I kept cutting until there was practically no space left on my hips. Then I fell to the ground and started sobbing again, I jumped when someone knocked on the door and accidentally dropped the blade, resulting in a very loud noticeable click of metal.

'Demi!' Dallas shrieked

'Demetria open this door before I tell mom you've relapsed' I couldn't have mom finding out, but I'm covered in blood, I unlocked the door and Dallas burst into the bathroom, gasping at the sight of me.

'Demi, where's the blade?' she said, I shook my head, I needed it she wasn't going to get it

'Demetria, give me the blade' she spat through gritted teeth, obviously only trying to scare me, I could tell she was holding back tears. Just another person I've let down

'fuck you Dallas' I screamed

'Go the fuck away Dallas' she stood still in her place, then lunged forward and grabbed what must have been the blade

'babygirl' Dallas entire exterior softened and she pulled me into her embrace

'we've got to clean your cuts baby, come on' I dropped my head and she told me to sit on the bench, I shook my head

'I'll break it, I'm too fat' Dallas shook her head

'You are so god damn beautiful Dems, and no where near fat, now please, actually stand because I need to clean them and they're on your hip' I stood and Dallas pulled antiseptic wash out of her handbag as well as a massive bandaid. She began to clean my cuts and all I could think about was how I deserved the pain, because I killed my daughter. She was doing fine with me, I'm so stupid. Dallas finished cleaning my cuts then placed the bandaid over them, before kissing my forehead and hugging me tightly again.

'Want to go see Lyric now? Maddie's awake and in with her' I nodded. I wasn't ready to see her though, there's no way I can see her like that. I need her to be okay, I don't know what I'd do without her, I'd literally die. Dallas looked at me intently before shaking her head

'you aren't going in there Demi' she said and I mentally sighed in relief

'baby, talk to me, why? Why did you do this to yourself?' I looked away from her and shrugged. I wanted to cut again to be honest. I still felt so numb.

'Demi, please, you know talking helps' I shook my head and grabbed my things walking away from Dallas and back to the waiting room we were in. Dallas walked in about five minutes after I did 

'Okay Demi, I undertsand you don't want to talk about it but you need to get something to eat come on, we'll go get Maddie and take her down for dinner' I shook my head, I wasn't going to eat until Lyric was awake

'Demi' Dallas warned 

'I'm fine, you and Maddie go, I'll wait here'

'No Demi, you need to eat'

'no, Dallas please I'll be fine' I was on the verge of tears, numb tears, I didn't want to eat.

'Demetria this is not an argument I will have with you,you either eat or you can go stay with mom and I'll tell her what happened earlier' I don't care anymore, I won't eat nor will I leave my baby

'fuck off Dallas'  

'get in the car' Dallas sneered, obviously upset with me

'I said fuck off, my child could die and you want me to eat, for fucks sake Dallas I can't handle this' Tears started to stream down my face and I pulled my knees to my chest

'We are leaving'

'did you not just fucking hear what I said Dallas, my daughter could die! and you want me to eat, I'm not leaving this room until she's awake' Dallas sighed and walked over to me. I backed into the chair afraid of what she was going to do, she lifted her hand and I flinched back, she wiped my eyes and kissed my forehead

'I know you're scared Dems, I am too, but you need to stay healthy and this isn't being healthy' I sighed

'I can't do it Dally, I just can't'

'baby, I'm really worried about you, I think you should go stay with Momma, Mad and I for a little bit' I shook my head, again I'm not leaving this damn hospital until she's awake

'will you at least come down and eat with us' I sighed knowing Dalas wasn't going to give up and nodded

'But no leaving the hospital' Dallas sighed and held her hand out for me. 

I HATE MYSELF FOR MAKING DEMI RELAPSE OMG BUT IT FIT WITH THE STORY, I'M SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME. I ACTUALLY CRIED SO MUCH WRITING THIS.