I need help, Miss Lovato

Chapter 34

Lyric

It's been two months, and I can finally say that I feel healthy again. Today is my release date, and as much as I hated it when I first got here I'm actually sad and nervous to leave, I've come to love this place. The more I did what they asked, the more I got to hang out in the common room and I met some nice kids, like Georgie, who was in here for Bulimia, she's fifteen and got out a  few weeks ago, she promised that she'd keep in contact though. I haven't had a lot of sleep, I've literally been freaking out about going home, but then again I'm so excited to be home with Mom and Marissa, Mom and Wilmer broke up about a month into my treatment, it was sad and all I wanted to do was be there for her but I couldn't and she told me I had to focus on myself.

'Good morning sunshine, you excited?' Amelia chirped as she walked into the room with my breakfast, I shrugged and she came over and sat next to me on my bed

'what's wrong?' Amelia said

'I'm just scared, for myself and for mom, something's been off with her ever since, well you know, and I don't know whether she'll be able to be around me' Amelia put her arm around me 

'Hey, Demi's a big girl, she can handle herself, you don't need to worry about anything' I smiled at her and began eating my breakfast 

'look at my big girl' I looked over at the door and saw Marissa at the door

'Auntie Mar!' I haven't seen Marissa for a month, the last time was when Wilmer and Demi broke up, I quickly ate the rest of my breakfast and then ran up and jumped up onto Marissa, who welcomed me with open arms 

'I missed you gorgeous' Marissa said kissing my temple, I began to cry from an overwhelming feel of happiness, finally for once in the last 8 years I actually had a family, I felt happy. 

'aww baby, don't cry' I laughed at my own happy tears causing Marissa to smile widely, and then begin to tickle me 

'you ready baby?' Marissa asked, I hesitated before nodding my head. She put me down and I grabbed my bag that was full of my things. I turned to Amelia and wrapped my arms around her, she picked me up and held me tightly

'I'll miss you' I said as my tears became ones of sadness

'no tears, it's a happy moment, you'll still see me, I promise' 

'but hey, I'll miss you too kid, stay strong okay?' I nodded

'pinkie promise' I held out my pinkie and linked it with hers, she then put me down and I ran off to Marissa

'see ya around kiddo' Amelia called as Marissa and I walked out of the room

'See ya around' I yelled back. 

When we arrived home I ran up to the door, only to find it locked, Marissa came and unlocked the door and I ran inside, looking for mom.

'mom' I called

'baby' Marissa called after me as I ran up the stairs

'where's mom' I asked panicking

'baby, come here' I walked back down the stairs to Marissa and she crouched down in front of me

'Demi went to stay with CAST, she'll be back sometime today, but that's why she's only had limited visits with you,  she needed a little bit of help' I knew something was wrong with mom, but I'm glad she's getting herself help. 

'oh, okay' Marissa pulled me into a hug and moved my hair from my face 

'hey, she's okay sweetie, she just had to get a little bit of help' 

'I just, I wish she were here'

'wish who were here?' I heard someone say from the doorway

'mommy!' I ran over and jumped on her,  wrapping my arms tightly around her

'hey my beautiful babygirl' she kissed my forehead 

'I'm so glad you're okay mommy'  

'and I'm so glad you're okay babygirl' Marissa then came over and joined our hug

'I'm so glad y'all are both okay, and I know that y'all will help each other to stay strong' Marissa said 

It was then I thought of what I learnt in treatment, holding onto the past is never going to get you anywhere, you will only get further by taking a step. I never really thought of it before treatment, I held onto my past so much that I let it drag me back into the negativity instead of leading me to positivity. I eventually learnt that I needed to have faith in myself and in god, because if I worry about being in control all the time I'll just end up spiraling out of control again, and making myself fall into the negativity. I just have to let go, and keep moving forward    

'we're going to be okay' Mom said

'we are strong warriors, and we can handle anything'

'we sure are babygirl' I held mom's wrists and traced her tattoo's, then kissing them

'I love you baby'

'I love you more mommy'

'I'll always be here, no matter what'

And that's when I truly realized that everything was going to be okay, because no matter what I was always going to have the support of my mother, and her family. 

I will not let my disorder get the best of me again.

I am stronger than Anorexia.

I am a warrior.