Lyric
"what's 9 times 9?" mom asked me, reading off of the math worksheet she had given us for homework. I put my head in my hands and shook my head, signalling that I truly didn't know the answer
"come on babygirl, we've just been learning about this" I could tell mom was getting frustrated and I felt bad but I couldn't think about anything but the food which was now in my stomach digesting and making me fatter, I just wanted to scream. Mom took me off of her lap and put me onto the chair next to her, still watching me very carefully. I placed my elbows on the table and leant my head against my hands whilst a tear rolled down my cheek, one that Marissa nor mom seemed to notice.
"it's 18" I mumbled, I knew the answer was wrong but I just didn't care all I wanted to do was purge and then go back to sleep, again, I'm so tired even though I just woke up.
"Lyric, come on you've got to try" mom said a little sterner, I honestly don't know what came over me but I slammed my hands on the table and then ran up to my bedroom locking the door. I felt so mad, I had to take it out on something so I did. I punched my wall and unfortunately the wall won, now my knuckles looked disgusting.
Not long after running up here I started to hear knocking on the door, but I wasn't going to answer it, I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. In fact all I wanted to do was cry and purge and get my razor blade, but I knew I couldn't because mom had taken all of my razors, she would hear me purge and she would also hear me cry.
"Lyric open this door now!" I heard mom shout half- panicked from the other side of the door, I simply fell onto my stomach on my bed and shoved a pillow in my face. That's when I started to cry quietly, I could barely hear myself crying because the pillow was muffling the sound so I knew that I was safe.
"Lyric Leigh Lovato open this god damn door right now!" mom shouted again. I continued to ignore her and just laid on my bed, and all I could think about was dying and how much I wanted to die right now. It's like it just came crashing down on me, all I wanted to do was die and I really don't care if hurt people which is terrible I know but I'm just so... sad.
"Baby, please open your door" Demi voiced had softened to one of an almost scared tone, I don't blame her though, I mean she just made her suicidal anorexic child who has a habit of purging eat and now she doesn't know whether her child is okay because they've locked themselves in a room with a bathroom.
"babygirl, please, please" her voice cracked mid sentence and it broke my heart, I was hurting mom but part of me didn't care, and that part made me feel even worse. I forced myself off of the bed and walked over to the door
"this is your stupid fault demetria, if you hadn't have pushed her she wouldn't have run away. If anything happens to her it'll be all on you" I heard mom whisper to herself
"dear lord, please keep my babygirl safe from harming herself, amen" Demi whispered again, I could tell she was in tears, just like me. I hesitantly opened the door and she didn't move, she had her head up against the wall with tears streaming down her face. Marissa was just walking up the stairs when she saw mom and quickly ran over to her
"Dem?" Marissa shook mom
"she's dead Mar, I killed her" Mom said emotionlessly
"Demi what are you talking about?" Marissa asked
"Lyric" Marissa looked at me questioningly and then back to mom
"Dem, babe open your eyes" mom hesitantly opened her eyes and looked at Marissa then moved her gaze to me
"never do that again" she said opening her arms for me, I gladly accepted the hug and started to sob into her shoulder
"get it out mommy" I cried, speaking about the food in my stomach
"get what out baby?" she asked running her fingers through my hair
"the demon in my tummy" I whispered, mom sighed and hugged me tighter
"you mean the food?" I softly nodded causing her to sigh again before kissing my forehead
"I can't babygirl, you need it to survive" I cried harder and started to struggle agaist her
"Get it out! Get it out! GET IT OUT!" I screamed violently sobbing and thrashing around in moms arms, she stood up and started bouncing me like a two year old on her hip trying to get me to calm down, but I continued to thrash around and scream. Mom locked eye contact with Marissa and then quickly ran into my bedroom where they pinned me to the bed whilst I tried to wriggle out of their girp
"Let me go!" I screamed
"Get off of me!"
"I want to die" I screamed even louder
"please mommy it hurts" I whimpered, tears were falling out of her eyes but she didn't let go as I was still fighting against her grip
"not until she's calm" mom whispered to Marissa, who simply nodded and watched mom with a worried glance.
After about thirty minutes I calmed down and mom nodded at Marissa who let go of me and I jumped into moms arms again
"I'm sorry mommy, I'm so sorry" she just weakly smiled and held me tighter to her body kissing my forehead. Marissa also bent down and kissed my forehead then returning her worried gaze to mom, who was looking at me with a distant look almost as if she were afraid that she was hallucinating and I wasn't in her arms
"I love you Mommy and Auntie Mar" I said kissing their cheeks
"I love you too" they replied at the same time
YOU ARE READING
I need help, Miss Lovato
Hayran Kurguwhen my parents died, i thought my world had ended. little did i know what torture my future at bright smiles would bring me. most kids hate school, but i'm not one of them. school is the only safe place i have. my name is lyric dennis, and this, is...
