I am Broken but Fixable (rewriting)

Chapt. 22 w/ teaser

Okay guys don't get mad at me but this chapter may make you hate me😐.

It's not my fault.

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I had stayed in the hospital for about another month or so but how would I know? I stayed in this dang bed the entire time. I read every letter and they were from the teachers and other family members that I knew. I had found out that it wasn't Hagen or the jock who came and visited. It was Nat. He had taken a liking to Ladin and were now a thing I guess you could say?

I looked over at the nurse who walked in with food and another bag that they would put through the IV if I didn't eat it. Which I wouldn't. I sat up and rubbed my eyes under my glasses as I pulled he covers off of me. I looked down and lifted my shirt. I was anorexic, my ribs and hips were noticeable, I looked rally pale, and  my eyes were dull.

I jerked my head towards the door and I quickly laid down and turn on my side pulling the covers over my shoulder as Ladin and Nat came in. I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep.

"Nat I don't know what to do... Come look at her.."

I heard the footsteps coming closer and I felt the covers being moved off of me and my shirt was lifted showin my ribs and hip bone.

"Dude she looks dead-.."

"Don't fucking tell me that shit Nat, how bad is she?"

Ladin gently pressed my shoulder down so I was laying on my back. My face was facing the right window. I'm sure my cheek bones were noticeable also. I felt someone crease my cheek then their hand moved and felt my shoulder and lastly my ribs. I heard them gasp and pull away their hand.

"Hagen man she's sick..." That was Nat.

Hagen. Hagen was here? After all this time. I then heard sobbing from all of them. How come they knew down thin I didn't? What did they mean when they said I was sick? I was going to tell them I was awake but the nurse came in and sighed.

"I'm sorry kids but you need to leave... She's not doing so hot, if we can't get her to eat soon she'll die of starvation and/or overdosage of vitamins in the IV."

I'm dieing? That's what's wrong with me?

"No, I just fucking got back from a break and your telling me the only girl that I ever fucking loved is dieing?!! Oh hell fucking no! I refuse to believe you.. Your a sorry nurse who can't feed her the  be-..."

"D-..... Don't.... Bla-.... Blame.... H-her."

I turned my head slowly and I watched as everyone's eyes landed on me. I observed everyone. Hagen had grown a start of a beard and he looked older, like he was 20 something instead of 18. I felt like passion out now. I was starting to get dizzy but I ignored that for right now.

Hagen just stared at me and Ladin hugged me softly along with Nat.

"You have to eat Kade.. Please.. I couldn't bare it if I lost my only best friend."

I smiles softly as Nat nudged her and they both laughed. I glanced over at Hagen and shook my head as a small year ran down my cheek.

"Y-..you left me... You w-went to Bridget. But most of all you n....-never came to v-visit me.. But what If I...-I want to die? It's not up to a-anyone in this room b-...but me.. Y-you should leave... It's not like you c-...cared anyway..."

Hagen looked hurt but it's not up to him to chose what happens to me. It's up to me. Not my parents, friends, dog, doctors, teachers, or the all high and mighty god. None taken though. I sighed and closed my eyes and blinked a bit as the monitor's beeps grew slowly and weaker. I started seeing black dots and I laid back down but caught the nurse pushing my life out of the door and the doctors frantically rushing in. I saw Hagen though the window. I saw a single year running down his cheek as he watched them wheel me away.

I closed my eyes and let my body and the most beautiful person ever be controlled by darkness. I remember a letter I saw and read last.

Dear Kade,

I know you, you know me. But you don't understand why I really came I to your life or why I left. I decided it's time I about told you. I have a brother. He's in jail. He was put in jail for 2nd degree attempted murder, drunk driving, and robbery.

I always wanted him out but that's only because I was lonely. I wanted the money your parents had sued from my brother to put him in more debt but I just wanted him out. But that's not what I wanted. The more I was around you the more I saw that I was falling in love with you. I know I fucked up but Bridget was coming into me. She kissed me. When I saw you getting beaten up I wanted to help... I wanted to help.

But he didn't..

Anyway I'm sorry and I was gone to body him and tell him there was no way in hell he was getting out right after I did research and he was the one who ran you over. I hate him not but I'll never leave you I promise unless you want me to. Kadence Leann Donohue, if you want I will, I would like to make you officially my girlfriend...

Love,

Hagen.

What was the use now? I was dead or dieing. I would never get that chance with Hagen. He knew that I knew that but yet my heart didn't want to believe it. But at least if this is it I knew Hagen loved me.

I was ready, I was ready to leave this world in bliss and that's what I planned to do.

••••••• TEASER BELOW•••••••••
READ AT OWN RISK

When I stayed in the bliss moment I saw myself standing somewhere. I looked around and looked at the sunlight shinning through the leaves, it was spring or summer. I looked around and I saw a car pull up and I saw a couple get out. The man had scruff on his jawline and cheeks and he looked almost nervous about something, he was wearing a nice suit. The girl had long brunette hair and she was wearing a nice red dress. She looked familiar as did the man but I stayed quiet and watched. The man turned to the girl and kissed her passionately but lovingly. He then pulled away and looked into her eyes intensely almost as if trying to feel her soul.

"What's the date babe?"

She looked at him and giggled "it's May 9th, 2023. Why did you ask Hagen?"

Why am I dreaming about Hagen's future? Older Hagen knelt down and looked up at the lucky woman.

"You know I've always loved you, all your flaws, and I don't care if your struggling with cancer. I still want you to-... I guess what I'm ganna ask is..." He pulled out a ring and the girl gasped. I felt sorry for her.. She had cancer but she'd marrying Hagen so I'm happy.

"Will you marry for Kadence Leann Donohue?"

She squealed and hugged him tightly. I watched as the future Hagen pushed the ring on the... Future me? I will have cancer?

The sense went black and I was at another one. I saw Hagen, he had a now noticeable jawline beard but it was thin and not long. He was holding something and I looked over to see I was standing in a room with yellow walls. I looked at the wooden floors and and the cribs that was in the room. Hagen, who was about maybe late 20s, smiled at the little bundle in the blue blanket and soon the older me, I looked about mid 20s, walked She with my hair in a bun and She was holding a pink blanket with a baby inside. She smiled at Hagen and they shared a kiss before putting the nudges asleep. I watched as Hagen pulled her closer and smirks before pulling her out of the room and I soon heard a door close. It's hard to imagine me and Hagen together, married, and to have kids. I walked over and once I got close enough to see the babies the sene went black and it stayed that way.

Why would this happen? Was this going to be happy? Why did I dream of this? I guess if I chose to stay I'd figure it out.
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1509 words!!!
I almost cried writing this.. Almost but sorry if I made you all mad.