Ever feel like you need to get out? Out of the way, I needed it. Then as i left he came. He walked into my life and i was grateful for that period of time, but then he walked out. Left when i needed him and he never knew how happy i was when we were...
I was Dwelling on the past. The boys left a while ago now. It was hitting me as I sat there still not moving on the sofa as I though back to the days with Liam, The times where I was left looking after him as dad was out I didn't mind.I felt good , it was good. But now for me to even think of that is insane, since I act like this strong structured person. But for me to now completely open up is pathetic.
I feel what if I leave Harry like the rest? Will he care? come after me? not care? Since I don't think he cares now. We've changed, its true. Doesn't feel the same to be honest. I love the feeling of home. Even though I know you might not believe me. I want to go, see Liam. I do but Harry doesn't let me. And normally I would do what I want but some how he has this hold on me which I hate. He makes me think Im doing want I want but it isn't. He makes me think that Im doing it for myself when It isnt like that.
****************
Ryans pov:
I miss her. I need her. want her. But I know I can not have her, I miss not being able to call her, I was looking at the picture of us on my night stand of us when we were younger I was round fifth teen and Amanda was sixth teen. I remember the day she made wear those ridiculous glasses. But I did it to make her smile. She pulled the most funniest faces ever, though's conversations if only I could turn back time and listen to her moan about Liam.
My mum keeps going on about texting her and messaging but I dont see a point shes with Harry. Shes happy. I should leave it and leave her. But for me to leave and never talk to her again would be to hard for me and it was to easy for Harry. My mum convinced me to try, to go and see her. Even if she pulls away I want to know I tried.
******
Amandas pov:
Me and Harry were at work, he acted better. Well tried. I hope he knows what his going miss when Im gone, I was thinking of leaving.He swings by the office offering to make dinner tonight I thought It was nice so I nodded, asking when his going to be leaving work he walked in saying "About half hour love" He says charmingly. I nodded as he comes over to plant a soft kiss on my forehead. I nod as he leaves.
As we left memories were flying everywhere today. I tried to stop thinking, didn't help. Ryan . I miss you. I think I want my partner in crime back. Is that crazy? What would Harry do?
****
After I was done with the work I decided to go home but I took the long way, for the hell of it. I was walking along the path and I looked up at the view as I was passing, faces I never seen were floating around. I then saw the most familiar face I knew. To my surprise I didn't shout, I did't pull away I wanted to be there in that moment with Ryan. I've missed him so much. I ran to him and pulled my hands around his body and held him there. I tucked my face inside his black leather jacket. I pulled away in those moments and just held the glace one minute more, till I saw it in is eyes. He was searching for me, he missed me, needed me as much as I needed him. A smile came on my face "Hi." I muttered he smiled back signing. Staring at me not leaving my eyes. Even though he didn't say anything I saw it with his eyes. " I missed you." I was first to brake.
He responded in pulling his muscular arms around me and hugging me giving me a kiss on my cheek. I took a breath saying "I need to go." I said trying to keep walking on but I turn and he said "Like always." But I didn't want to argue so I just lightly nodded and walked away.
***
By the time I got in Harry was washing up, he turned to me smiling "You left work late." I nodded "lied "Yeah, I did I was re looking over the documents and double cheeking. You know what I'm like wanting everything perfect. " He only nods and says "Come on lets eat I'm starving."
******
When dinner was finished I couldn't stop thinking about Ryan. My phone buzzed. I was in my room and then Looked down.
Ryan:
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I didn't know what to do. I was so shocked but I also secretly liked it. I smiled I said to Harry I was going out for a call with Liam he nodded didn't think much since he doesn't like that. I ran out and called Ryan but as I walked on I saw Him just across the road smiling at me leaning on the wall. I gave him the biggest smile back.
