Life changes

Chapter 28- Oh Kyle

Sorry, for not updating sooner but I have been doing my final exams but I have one left so I thought I'll do a long chapter :) I'm back 

Amanda Griffins pov:

Maybe if I left other time, different way it would be different but having to go through this makes me think I should give up.

**

After we left we arranged to go to a motel to stay in because dad made us leave. We spoke about how we need to get Calum out of here.

After we got to the motel we arranged were we are all sleeping, my brother and his partner on the left  and me and my boyfriend in the corner. I was laying on the bed with Ryan, Kyle went back to his to look after our brother.

Ryan was lying next to me, I was sitting up I felt his breath leaving me kisses along my neck. I kept smiling but I held it in because I was ticklish. I felt at peace almost happy. I still felt like I needed to see Harry and have that one on one conversation with him and talk this through.

I hate the feelings of lying even though it comes to easily to me since I had practice with seeing my dad is it in the past. Its best to talk it through I think I need to change.

**
But I don't want to leave this part of me because it means I give in and I don't give in. I don't act like this at wall, it scares me to death.but I Think I want to go back...

***
It was morning now and I was already up and dressed in yesterday's clothes but instead of my top I wore Ryan's which is baggy so it meant I didn't need leggings I just wore shorts underneath.

Everyone else was still sleeping I sat on the corner of my bed and played with Ryan's hair, he loved it when we were younger. My face was facing down and he slowly opened his eyes smiling.

I lowered my head to plant a sweet  kiss and I pulled my head back up. His arms were coming out of the sheets and his arm slowly grabbed me back down which made me move side ways lying on the bed. We then continued to kiss I somehow ended up in the bed.

**

After the morning and we were all up and washed and the others dressed we walked outside walking towards Kyle's.  All of us felt different emotions understandably, and partner and my brothers partner being here because they care for us and they want what's best for us. And also me and my brother we feel pain, sadness,  fear and hate.

We where outside the house now. We all turn facing each other "who's knocking on the door?" Liam asked my head was up but I didn't speak. I walked away Ryan's head following my body but I pressed the dial button and called Kyle, he answered we spoke and I asked him to come and open the door. After I hung up on him the door opened, All the others faces looked confused but I walked towards the small gate to open it and walk through but everyone followed from behind.  

Once we where in, I had no idea what I would say I mean I was told he died how do you get back to having a normal family? We sat. His coach was a slim fit, pretty and well defined it had that spring feel to it like you would watch your children play and you would some how enjoy your  life. We all sat down you could smell our heavy hearts from a mile away. My dad and his not so attractive  new wife sat affront of us with Calum right in the middle they have him trapped.   

Gordon's pov:

There back, I can not believe it. Karma's a fucking bitch they are going to mess up everything. Why couldn't Amanda and Liam stay away? She hurt me, I loved my daughter we had that relationship that people couldn't understand, she didn't like it but I knew she would understand it later on but she left me. They have not been here so how can they know what I went through? I am a changed man. 

Just sitting here with my wife, child and my wife's child who loves my daughter and  me staring at the children who got away, Liam was the one I thought would see sense but he got caught into Amanda's grip. He loved her so much but I guess I was jealous but How could she leave? Amanda talked first, "I will not apologies for leaving, you where stick and abusive. You  hurt me and made me think of hurting myself. I wanted to,so much. But I knew I was better then you. It is your fault that I am the way I am. I leave people and I'm mean to the one's I love." She took over but I grunted my teeth then snapped "Amanda, I am your dad do you know how I felt when you left? You left me.. I really missed you  I was a messed up man OK, I'm sorry."  She annoyingly said "Did you find god  too during mum's death? did you find this during the time you where left alone?" She asked me I didn't know how to give her a response.  

Amanda's pov: 

  We sat in silence, I grunted my teeth, "Just own up to the shit you did to me! would you?" I was on the verge to throwing the first punch but I think Calum sensed it, he stood too. He looked into my eyes trying to find my soul. "What?" I almost shout His eye's showed sadness yet relief "I missed you to. I know dad did unforgivable things but please dont shut me out." I broke down and I fell to the ground he caught me and we ended up hugging "We need this Amanda, were family."   I nodded once we were standing I whispered "You do know we can not stay here, I need to take you back." His words  hurt like a bullet "I don't want to end up hating dad to." I nodded trying to understand.  I left the house leaving everyone inside.

I fell apart outside, How can they tell me to have faith so I save Calum and making sure he doesn't mess him up like he did me? I was in the middle of the street crying, such a woos. I heard the door go I turned it was Kyle. Kyle tried to be caring and I pushed him, of the edge. "Kyle please don't." I said but he says "Amanda please come back inside we will find a way." I continued to weep "That's all we seem to be doing Kyle! What if it's no use? that Gordon will brain wash him? there isn't a point since you heard it your self he doesn't want to come."  He tried so hard "Calum will listen, to me." I rolled my eyes "Stop dreaming." I didn't look but I felt his eyes on mine as he said "that is the only thing I can do Amanda."  I made steps forward as I turned back to say "Well, keep dreaming then." I put my head down and he came up to me and squished me with his strong arms and hugged me. His strong crushed brown hair fell onto my hair just slightly, it felt different to Ryan's but it felt almost right. I didn't want to let go. Does that make me a bad person? I held on tight and he did the same. 

 Everyone came out after, I quickly turned away  from Kyle, I knew we didn't do anything wrong but then why do I feel so guilty? the feeling I had in my stomach that wouldn't go away. Ryan came up to me and put his arm around me I instantly went into character and I smile, He mentioned that he tried I just nodded.  

**** 

We where back at the motel, Kyle was with us. I was with Stacey, the boys where outside near the pool we went down to see them. We stayed by the a white cream table and sat down, Stacey sat with me we didn't talk we didn't what to say. Ryan called me over, in a corner near the pool. Kyle was watching I saw, "What is it?" I asked him his response was blunt "Really? you don't act like I don't know. Did Kyle try anything on you?" I shock my head immediately "No of course not." His eyes looked like lost puppies "Then why do I get the feeling your relationship with him has changed?" His eye brows where raised "I dont know.." I said with one voice. 

The only thing I could do was hug him, I embraced him and held him for what seemed like forever. I had my hands on his shoulders as I planted kisses along his cheek. I whispered "How could I not love you, your my rock babe." I just wish that was true.  As I pulled back I stared into his eyes and saw the shed of hope that was remaining for me, "I don't know what I was thinking." He smiled and then hugged me but as he hugged me I saw Kyle's face just staring back at mine his eyes haven't left mine but I knew I was in trouble.