Life changes

Chapter 18-

Amandas pov:

He stood so far away, but he moved towards me he then looked across from side to side before coming to my side of the road. He looked at me sheepishly with a grin as he stood there I quickly went up to him pulling my  arms around him and hugging him tight he pulled me up leaving my body UN tangled flopping on his knees.  

He said it first. "I missed you, Im sorry for being so far away  and distant,  not talking to you. I just thought You wanted space. " He looked down at me then loses his grip and I had my feet on the ground. I replied "Never, from you. " He smiled and continued talking we walked on and just talked. We found  a bench and sat. I took a deep breath, we stared at each other. We where never good at this silence thing so I said trying to laugh "I never would of thought a month ago you'll come and find me." 

I tried not looking him in the eyes, he caught my eyes finally " I always  knew I would, Just had to have the courage to do it."  I nod he sits  there and continues as he asks "So I'm assuming you saw my text?" I nod again trying  not to  stare at him. He continues knowing I dont want to talk "Well, Berry I have missed you. Plain and simple. But You know I miss the old days too, knowing you were coming back even when you left. You know I love you right ?"

 I  Put my hands in my palms. I wanted to scream, wanted to shout but when I looked into his eyes his fingers where on my chin and his eyes were staring right into me. "We never spoke about it." I try and say  He rolled his eyes "Well Im asking now, have you ...-" I knew he didn't know what he was doing or saying so I stepped in "Yes." I muttered He took a moment "Yes what?" I closed my eyes "Yes I know you love me." 

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"And you didn't think you should of stepped in and told me how you felt ? Or better yet tell me. Right now" He says almost in a furious voice. I attempt to let out, "We never spoke about it, How was I to know that one day I would grow to love somebody who became my best friend? Of course I love you. But I also love the old us, And I know We can never be what we once was." I felt sad saying this but It had to be done. 

I didn't want to hurt anymore then I was just then so I walked away from this.I walked away from someone who loved me unconditionally, and someone who  Loved the part of me that I hated, all to be with someone who was Harry. I hope he knows one day What I did for him, I would of hurt Ryan and you don't hurt the ones you love. I guess Tristan was right, I settled, But I settled for Harry.  

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Ryans pov:

It takes one moment. And I blew mine, She walked away. I wasn't going to leave so I was trying to find her. I couldn't she probably went back to Harry.  My body raged with anger as I felt like I wasn't worthless nothing to her, maybe I'm not anyone to her. Maybe I should give up and stay with Kelly for a while? Amanda wouldn't like that, she never did really she had that sixth sense more or less about these things.  

I was walking now, near Kelly's. Harry lives around the corner should I go and see if she's there ? Why you'll only hurt yourself, wait hasn't she done that already? Hurt me to the point where I would of done absolutely anything for her.

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Amandas pov:

He doesn't know how much that hurt, me walking away. I guess he never will, Harry was sleeping as I got in, I quickly took my shoes of and then went to the bathroom and scrubbed my fingers then arms then my face. brushing my make up off then getting the wipe in case anything wasn't of my face. I quickly made my way to the bed trying not to wake up Harry, I did it.  Or so I thought, he whispered chuckling "Baby I hope your not going to make a habit about this, coming home late." 

I turned to my side and whispered "I won't I promise, just had to chase up a lead." He nodded "You going to proceed with it?" He asks, You going to proceed with it   I shock my head  "No there wasn't a reason to." He smiled nodding he closed his eyes I got out of bed walking towards the curtains closing them as I was pulling them outside it was dark. I saw shimming lights on a post and a body moving Ryan's eyes were looking lost. He was right outside my house.  I didn't think twice I pulled the curtains with out him noticing me.