Right Now **EDITING**

Love You, Goodbye

Virginie's Point Of View

December 20th

I wake up and immediately close my eyes again.  This can't be real.  It can't be today.  The last couple of days were so great.  I had so much fun Friday with all my friends and Harry.  The evening ended up really late.  They left the house at around 4 AM yesterday morning.  H and I got to bed right after and spent the day cuddling in the sheets.  We were one all day.  From the moment, we woke up at around 1 PM to the moment we fell back asleep at 10 PM, we talked and kissed.  I just couldn't leave his skin of my touch.  I want to remember every part of him when he'll be away, so I can imagine him still with me at all times as if he was there.  I was strong yesterday and enjoyed every moment I had left with him instead of crying because I am leaving today.

I finally open my eyes.  I have to face the fact that I'm leaving and I will need to get up eventually, but before I do, I want to snuggle to my man as it is the last time, in I don't know how long, I'm waking up to him.

I roll to face him and I find him already staring at me.  He looks so serious.  I brush his hair out of his beautiful face and lean in for a kiss.

"Good morning my love..."  I whisper as I hug his body close to mine.

I take in all I'm feeling.  The warmth of his bare chest on mine.  The smoothness of his skin as I rub his back.  The gentleness of his lips on mine.  I will miss him with all I have and all I am.

"No matter what happens today, I want you to know how much you mean to me and how much I love you."  He whispers before looking at me intently and slowly leaning in to kiss me.

This isn't like anything he has ever done before.  I don't know how he kisses me.  I'm overwhelmed by the feelings I get as he makes sure to not let an inch of my skin unkissed, untouched and unloved as he makes love to me one last time.  He is purely beautiful and it gets me emotional by the desperate need of love he will let me leave with.  It will be hard to live without his small attentions everyday, his smiles, his kisses, his touch.  He is so tender and gentle.  He is making it so hard for me to leave now.  And the most difficult part of it is not knowing when we will be seeing each other again.  It kills me from the inside as he makes me feel so good on the outside.  

I tangle my fingers in his hair and kiss his forehead as he rests his head on my chest.  I look at his clock on his side of the bed and it's 10:23 AM and my flight is at 3 PM.  I need to get there three hours in advance to go through the customs and all that stuff, so we need to leave at about 11:30 AM for Heathrow the later.  My luggages are done and they stand at the end of the bed ready to go.

I need to shower first and it takes all the strength in me to get me out of bed.  I do it quickly and take H's shower gel to smell like him.  I brush my teeth already as I know I won't be eating since I feel so bad about leaving him I won't be able to keep anything down.  I head back to the bedroom and he isn't here and neither are my luggages, but I find some of his clothes folded at the end of the bed he laid there for me.  I get dressed with his black 'Rolling Stones America Tour' T-Shirt and his 'Modern Life Is Robbish' jumper.  God I love this jumper!  It's the one he was wearing when we first met.  

I immediately start crying.  I run to the closet and spray myself with his cologne.  I will miss it.  Everything.  Him.  Mostly.  And this living together thing.  I take a quick final look at the bedroom and head out to join him downstairs.  I was expecting finding him doing anything but that.  He is sitting on the living room couch.  Our couch.  Where we played Monopoly, watched telly, made love, unwrapped our gifts, slept in front of the fire,...  But now he has his face in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees.  This sight hurts me even more.  I don't want to make him cry.  I don't want him to be hurt.  But I can't expect him to be strong if I'm not myself.