She

Chapter 27

Catching that plane home was a big reality check for me, I watched as I flew away from everyone that I love. The whole trip my phone was switched off and I know for a fact that I can't turn it back on for a few days, I told Seb I was going home but I'm not. If I went home than they would find me in a few days. I don't know we're I'm going, Billies is the only place I know. It hurts to think I'm leaving every single thing behind. Ill go back home soon once they've been and gone, for now I might find a motel and just wait it out.

I left on Thursday and it's now Wednesday, I took every plane I could home and stopped in several different places. For all I know maybe they have already been home a checked if I was there but as the taxi drive past yesterday I saw the peacefulness of that house, it has never been peaceful. I wonder if the media had picked anything up to seen them go home. I went to places Billie never took me, I saw things we planned to see on the tour. This is the longest I've been without them and it honestly hurts to think that I've been with out them for nearly a week.

The taxi pulls in front at a small B&B, it's neat and tidy. It resembles a cottage. Checking in was hard, usually Billie does it and I had no idea what I was doing. They carried my bag to my room where I waited, I cried and I felt sorry for myself. I drunk away my sorrow and I passed out on the bathroom floor, fully dressed and in a pool of my own vomit.

I don't remember much when I wake up but I now that the pounding at the door makes my head ache. I pier out of the window and see the maid, I look like I've died and come back to life, the room is trashed and I'm left looking like a full with the scent of stomach acid surrounding me. The lock clicks as I move the handle she walks in, with one look she looks at me with eyes of a mother and take my hand. She drags me to the bathroom and runs a bath, she doesn't say anything but she mopped the floor as the water fills the tub. She hands me a rob and turns around as I take of my clothes and pulls the soft material over my body. She signals to the bath as she take my clothes and leaves the room closing the door my hind her. I sink into the warm relaxing liquid, my tense muscles loosen up and I just close my eyes washing away the pain of yesterday. I thought this part of my life was over a long time ago but than I met Billie and it changed, will this happen every time I don't have him. I don't want to wake up hanger over, covered in vomit and in a place that isn't my home.

I dry off my hands and grab my phone, the bubbles continue to surround me as I turn on my phone. I just want to see if their ok, admittedly thousand of messages come through and voice mails flood my screen. I don't tough them, I don't do anything apart from open up Google and type in green day it was probably a bad idea but I need to know if their safe.

Headlines everywhere, complaints and they even made the news. It all reads a similar thing...
Green day cancels show leaving thousands of fans devastated.
Is the Green day tour cancelled.
Green day headed back home.

I can't take it, they weren't meant to cancel shows, what have I done? Those poor fans. I need to calm down and remember why I did this. I look at my phone and see photos of Billie walking into our house, pictures of the three of them swearing at the paparazzi at the airport and lastly photos of our hotel room trashed and everything broken. I go to place my phone down but I phone call comes through its Billie, i press ignore and sink into the bath as it muffles my screaming and hides my tears. I just want to here is voice. I rise to get air and I want to just hear Billies voice, I want be able to just feel something. I click the longest voicemail I can find and I starts, even his breath makes my cry.

"I called you again just to hear your voice, I know you won't listen to this but the other night I thought I was having a nightmare but when I woke up I realised it wasn't a dream. I trashed the room hoping I'd find something to tell me where you are, I couldn't preform without knowing you were listening. I miss you baby, you have no idea how badly I miss you. I told Joey the truth, he hates me Ryan but not because of the fact that we lied to him or just I love you. He hates me because I let you go. I bashed up Seb, I didn't mean to but I did. He let you walk away and he got to say goodbye but I didn't. Come home Ryan, please. Ryan there's so much I need to tell you, I need you home baby. I love you so much, you're my everything. I don't want anything else but you, I love you so much and I never got to express how I feel to your face. I'll be better, I'll do anything to make you stay. Babe I can't be without you, I can't look at antithetical girl without thinking how they'll never compare to you. Come home baby, I love you so much that I can't live without you."

That when my phone hits the wall and shutters into 1000 little pieces.