She

Chapter 41

"Was this you?" I sat with a coffee and my hands as I got lost in my own thoughts before Joey stormed into the room. "Ryan, was this you? Did you go snooping for this?" He slams the journal on the table and kicks the chair in front of him. "How dare you"

Jakob runs into the room and tugs on his brothers arm, Joey pushes him away harshly making Jake stumble backwards. "Don't push your brother, he's trying to help." I stand up and move towards Joey but he pushes me backwards.

"Don't go near my brother." Joey screams and Jake stand there in fright and shocked by Joey pushing me. "How fucking dare you, you fact up my emotions already and now you think you have the right to say that." He knocks the cup out of my hands and it land on and shatters on the floor. I place my hand on Joeys shoulder but he just once again pushes me making me fall backwards.

"Ryan!" Jakob runs over and Joey guards him away from me, he won't even let Jake look at me. I get a glimpse of the tears in his eyes and I feel my heart shatter. "Joey it's my fault, I showed her the book." He struggles against his brother.

"Jake go to your room." I pick myself up of the floor and watch Jake do what I say and head to his room. Joey stares me down and use all my strength not to just run away. "Joey, don't do this." I step forward but this time I don't get pushed away.

"Just because you're fucking my dad, doesn't mean you can tell me what to do." He goes to walk away but I grab his wrist and pull him towards me. "Let me go Ryan." It's like he's treating me but I don't know what with.

"Sit down and listen. Listen to what I have to say for once." I push him onto the chair and look down at him. "You think this is easy for me! I throw everything away for you and all you did was guilt trip me because the feeling wasn't mutual. I can't help who I love Joey! I didn't even know how you really felt about me until our falling out. All you did was punish me for not loving you!"

Now it's me that's mad, I want to punch him but I also want to run away. I clench my fists and take two steps back distancing myself from Joey. My back hits the kitchen counter, there's a good two metres in between us but I can still feel the anger radiating off of him. Joey stands up and I gasp scared of what we can do, I try to stay calm but when his face was inches from mine, I lost it. Tears start to fall.

"I was foolish to fall for and I was foolish to think we could be friends again. I look at you and all I see is regret, I regret meeting you, I regret Bring you here and I regret my feelings towards you." His voice is calm, his eyes have softened and his fists are now hidden in his pockets. "I wish I could say I've moved on but if I did I'll be lying. It hurts me to think I can't have you, that I worked so hard for you and I can get anything out of it."

"If you told me how you felt things could have changed. I didn't know Joey, I was blinded by everything in my own world that I never figured out how you felt. I meant what I wrote in your journal." I place my hand on his upper arm, I drop my head and look at the ground. His hands leave his pockets and rest on my hips.

"I missed you, I miss not waking up alone, I miss being able to hold you at night even though you weren't mine. I just miss everything Ry." I feel like I haven't heard him say my nickname in so long, lately all I get is Ryan are other 'hurtful' names.

"Joey, I miss our friendship but if you want to me friends than maybe easing our way into it is the better choice, I mean I don't think we can just act like best friends again." His hand move To my back and he pulls me into a hug, it's weird, so much has changed and I don't know but it's just weird. "I think rules should be made; like no being nasty when I'm with your dad and no being an arsehole because of my past."

"Ok than for me; no full on PDA around me, keep yours and dads activities behind closed doors a secret and no getting mad if I get uncomfortable." It's totally understandable were he's come from but at the same time it's kind of hard because who knows when Joey could show up when Billie and I are having a moment.

Joey pulls me into one last hug and walks away in the direction on Jakobs room, I follow behind but keep quite. There mumbling coming from Jake's room but I give the brothers space and wait outside. One by one they exit the room, Jakob gives me a smile and Joey takes my hand drags me towards the front door.

"Boys?" I question as they drag me to Joeys car, Jakob has a cute smile on his Face and Joey just laughs. I slump in the passenger seat as Jakob sits in the back. "Where are we going? I'm not even properly dressed yet and I haven't showered yet."

"Don't jet your underwear in a twist. Since we haven't hang out in like forever, I thought we take a journal down memory lane and go to our favourite place." Joey smirks, I mean my back in the day favourite place was Billies concerts, Joey didn't know that so it must be my second favourite.... The old arcade.