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Chapter 15

"I hate your son." I cry into billies shoulder the next morning, I don't know what happened but my emotions, they all just exploded out last night and all I've been found is crying my eyes out all night. "I usually don't hate people but Joey, I can't even say his name." I sob.

"I know, it's ok though. You always have the boys and I, we love you and you mean everything to me Ry." He tucks my hair behind my ear and looks into my eyes, he leans down and kisses me softly. His lips linger on mine for a few seconds before I shakily pull back. "I love you." It comes out in a whisper but I don't know what he means.

They are so many ways you can say I love you, the friend I love you, the family I love you, the inanimate object I love you, the fake I love you and lastly the relationship I love you. There are five options it's could be and I don't really know which one it is but my brain takes over and I blurt it out.

"I love you too." I smile grows on billies face and he kisses my check, he still has me wrapped in his arms trying to comfort me but I just can't get my head over any of it.

"I'll never let anything happen to you, my son is someone I don't even want to be around. He's been like it since Addie and I got a divorce, I thought you were going to change him and you did for a while but his true colors decided to shine." I can see the sadness in his eyes and I realize that we really need a break from this place.

"Let's go." I whisper into his ear just wanting to be in his hold forever but know that I can't, I know we have stuff today but we can do that anywhere and we only need to be back in a week before tour.

"Where do you want to go?" Billie pulls backing looking excited and I don't really know many places in the area for us to go, I'm not from the the U.S.

"I don't know, San Fran?" I shrug knowing that the only place I've really been before apart from tour places with Emily's Army but we've never looked around while on tour.

"Some where new, Santa Cruz?" I bite my lip and nod, Billie kisses me and pushes me backwards so I Fallon my back against the the mattress as he hovers above me. "Tomorrow Santa Cruz, today we are packing and doing whatever the hell we want."

"I have an idea." I smile running my hands up his torso and lifting up his shirt and kissing his neck, Billie smirks and shakes his head.

"Babe we can't, not now. Joey and Jake are home and I don't trust myself enough to be able to get away with it, we have all week starting from tomorrow." He kisses me and stands up walking over to the bathroom. "I want to so bad but I know they are in the next room listening to us."

"Go have a shower, your right." I say with a pout, this sneaking around does get annoying but there's not much else we can do apart from keep quite and not tell a soul. Imagine if The media found out, we'd be fucked.

"Wait I forgot something."  He walks up to me and kisses me, I can't help but to smile and push him into the bathroom. "Why are you so cute?"

"Because you need to go shower, now go before I bet you to it." I laugh trying to close the door but billie is in the way. "Go shower and I'll make you lunch." 

"You'd be the perfect wife on day." He laughs kidding my cheek before closing the door, now I have to think of something to cook for lunch. Why did I use this as a bribe?

Going through the fridge and pantry I find pesto, cheese, left over cooked plain pasta, sun dried tomatoes, oil, spinach and basil. It's my favorite dish and is easy to make when you have everything ready, all you really do is throw it all together and it'll taste amazing if the prepositions are right. I serve it up on plates and sit them on the table with a beer each because we all need to lighten up a little.

I hear Billie walk down the stairs as I just finish cleaning up. "Looks great, that's babe." He kisses me and sits at the table waiting for me to come over which I do obviously.

"Thank you, how was your shower?" I laugh taking a sip of my drink. I feel very set up right now, like its a date or a couple who live together and has kids. It's not  casual like it usually is.

"It'll be better if you were with me." He smirks and i just shake my head and chuckle, this is better, the cheekiness is back and the less mature side of billie is showing.

"Not going to happen. anyway I was thinking about the trip tomorrow, I think we could call it off because I want to be here for as long as possible before tour and the boys won't be here. We can chill here and travel on tour when we have to." I feel bad because I was the one that brought it up first but there no point. There's still work that needs to be done and we can always just do thing in the area instead of driving for hours just to spend a few day there and then come home to only travel for the next few months again.

"Yeah your right, we'll see the places on tour anyway." Billie stand up and takes my hand pulling me up so he can hold me. "Your always right."