She

Chapter 30

I wake up in a normal state for once, I heard a noise down stairs but it probably just the phone again. I curl up into a ball as the sun shines through the windows, I watch out over the balcony at the trees swaying in the wind, the birds flying around and squirrels running around. I sit up and stretch, but than I hear a door slam and foot steps walking through the house. Fuck. I hear something drop in the kitchen and my body tenses up.

"Ryan."

Shit Jakob, his foot step run up the hall and into my room but obviously I'm not there. He continues to yell my name before Billies door swings open, he runs up to me and hugs me tight. I wonder what he's hurt.

"Hey Danger." I mess up his hair, he is the only one that no matter what with always be my little brother. "I missed you dude."

"I missed you too Ry but you need to call dad, he's worried about you." Jakob stands up and takes my hands pulling me up. Now I wonder what he's heard, I sigh knowing that I will have to eventually.  Not now though.

"You spoke to Beej?" He nods sadly. "I'll call later but why don't we spend the day together today? We haven't spent a day together for ages, what ever happened to Danger and Ry time?"

"You started spending more time with my dad." Well he isn't wrong. "But sure lets spend the day together." I can't help but to smile the biggest smile I have in weeks, I pull Jakob into a hug and he laughs. I really love this kid.

We decide to go for a swim, it's hot outside and we barely make use of the pool so we might as well while we can. Jakob jumps in the pool and I follow, he drives under and pulls my legs from underneath me. When I rise to the surface I splash him right in the face, this is the most fun I've had in a while.

"I'm sorry about everything Jake." I say trying to catch my breath, Jakob stops splashing me and walks over pulling me into a tight hug. He is so much like his dad, looking at home hurts a little.

"Hey Ry I don't blame you for anything. I know about you and Joey fighting about max, than fighting about how you don't feel the same about him like he does you, I know about you kissing Seb and Joey getting mad but Ryan why are you here? You don't even have to see Joey or Seb, you're meant to be with Dad. Ryan I can handle the truth, I know you need some to talk to." This kid is why to mature for his age, maybe it is time I open up for once. I pull myself up on to the edge of the pool, Jakob follows and hold my hand.

"Jakob I love you and all your family so much, I've made bad decisions that have hurt so many people. When I move here with you it was your brother and I against the world but I made but decisions that drove your brother away so I started helping out your dad more just to take my mind of Joey but Jakob I hide my feeling by drinking and partying. One day your dad and I got really drunk and slept together, we thought it was just because we were intoxicated but than we always ended up walking up next to each other even if we weren't drinking or having sex. Jakob it turned into something more but at the point your brother admitted his feeling to me and I couldn't tell the truth so I lied. I felt terrible but instead of controlling my feelings I acted out and ended up kissing Seb and I love the thrill of being reckless but I didn't want to hurt anyone so a ran away back home. Seb caught be but I refused to let him come or stop me. Now people hate Seb, your dad and Joey because I can't control myself. I am sorry Jakob, never turn out like me ok. I am a horrible person."

Jakob once again hugs me, I cry I to his shoulder and I finally have someone to talk to and it may be my boyfriends son and my best friends brother but it's still someone. Jakob pulls away and places a hand on my shoulder looking me in the eyes.

"I love you Ry, we all do but I love you more right now in this moment because you are the only person that has ever been honest with me in this family but I also love you because I have never seen my dad so happy in my life and that's because of you. You make everyone in this family happy Ry, you and Joey had the best time, you and dad had the best time and also you and I. You mean the world to this family, yes there may be drama but we get over it. I just need you to do one thing, don't run because it hurts you so much and when you hurt we all hurt. You're my big sister Ry and I can't handle seeing you like this. I'm not going to tell anyone your head but I hope you do because everyone is worried sick. Mum even let me stay here just in case you come home and that's saying something. When I walked in here today and saw your suitcase in the kitchen I was so happy."

Hug Jakob once again but this time I pull him into the pool with me. We laugh playing around, there's no care in the world and its just Jakob and I knowing the truth and for once not caring. I am a member of this family, if I'm dating Billie or not, if I'm friends with Joey or not, I'm just sister to them all or a friend but I'm family and that's all I want.