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Chapter 38

Billie and I are snuggled up on swinging lounge outside while Jakob's in the pool mucking around, Billie has a joint in his hand which is surprising because he hasn't smoked in ages. I watch Jakob make a fool of himself dancing around to whatever music is pumping through the stereo, he is very energetic today. Billie shuffles himself into a move comfortable position and rests his head on my shoulder, his lips kiss the crook of my neck.

The tour starts up again tomorrow and the boys are back on the road, my heart dreads for the nights when I'm alone but I always have Jakob to have a sleepover with. Is it weird the I have sleep over with my boyfriends son, I get that this family is close but I'm like his step mum which makes me feel even more weirded out.

"Ok so I have this idea." Jakob says standing at the ridge of the pool facing us, Billie and I turn our attention to Jake as we wait for him to continue on with this brilliant idea of his. "Well I was thinking that maybe we should get a puppy but hear me out, so mum took the other dogs because of whatever reason and you even said the other night that you two could get a dog."

"Jake I'm still on tour and Ry will be joining me on tour in a week so who will be looking after it?" Billie warns but secretly I know he wants something he can take care of, he's mentioned a dog to me a few times and frankly I think it would be good for him.

"Me, duh. I can take care of a puppy, I'm responsible and if we get it soon than Ryan can help me for a week."Jakob begs, I look at Billie and back to Jakob and I bite me lip. I want Billie to be there for the first few days at least but he's off to resume tour so that won't happen.

"Jakob by the time we pick a dog, it's of age to be sold, gets the injections, it's gets sent here and we puppy prof the house than your dad will be back off tour so we can pick out a puppy but it won't be here until tour ends." So maybe I also want a puppy and I have the perfect one in mind, the breeders are rare but it's the perfect puppy.

"She's right Jake, plus for the three of us to look after it together would be much better don't you think?" Billie says a little more into the idea now, I can imagine a little puppy running around and Billie is going to love it. I remember when Adrienne one custardy of the dogs, Billie was torn, he loved those dogs but because he travels a lot and his ex wife is a bitch she did everything to have them.

"I guess so. Anyway I'm going to see Sage, she may stay the night tonight." Jakob says climbing out of the pool, he doesn't wait for us to comment before shouting the door. Maybe Sage over tonight is a good idea, I need time alone with Billie.

Billies hold wraps tighter around me, his hand run up my sides and lips press to the back of my neck. I stand up and grabs Billies hands helping him up, Billie pouts knowing I cut our cuddles short. I can't stand being near the pool house and being affectionate towards Billie, it feels wrong. I take him inside and lead him to our bedroom, I don't want to have sex but I just want to talk. Billie lays down and I climb onto the bed next to him, I rest my head on his chest and play with his fingers.

"Billie, do you see us together in the future." I look up at him and he looks me in the eyes and nods his head. I close my eyes trying to picture us in the future and I can but its nothing like it is now. "All I can picture is you touring and me home with a dog and a baby, Jakob's still living at home but Joey isn't. Jakob doesn't see me as a friend anymore and our relationship in tarnishing." I open my eyes and Billie looks at me with a sad expression.

"I'm always going to be here for you, Jakob with always love you and if there is a baby in the future than no matter what I'll be here. I would never leave you alone, I love you too much." He leans down and kisses me, close my eyes and kiss his back. His hands rest on my back and apply a soft pressure so I move closer, I place my hand on the nape of his neck and just relax into the his.

Billie pulls away and kisses my jaw line, I open my eyes and see his back hair messy against his face. He hasn't shaven and has some stubble that tickles my skin, he's not perfect but he's perfect for me. His lips press back against mine and I lean back, Billies top half is above mine as our legs are intertwined.

I run my hands down his torso and hold onto the bottom of his shirt,  pulling it over his head I'm confronted by his body. His hands fiddle with my top before carefully pulling it over my head, he looks at my body and kisses me .My hands move down to his pants, I slowly unbutton and unzip them.  I pull them down as far as I can before Billie has to kick them off. I run my fingertips over his torso and feel his soft skin, I kiss his shoulder as Billie tries to undo my jeans, he drags them down my body until they meet his pants on the floor.

He kisses down my stomach until he reaches my belly button, slowly he makes his way back up to me and I feel is breath against my chest  and I know what happens next. He rests my back flash against the mattress, he kisses me softly.