She

Chapter 32

The warm water pours over my skin, scars cover my body inside and out. I let myself go, I haven't showered in days, I shake trying to even shave my legs. Three day old makeup runs down my face and my hair is falling out in chunks. I didn't spend the night with Billie last night, I couldn't just jump back into the normal life. I hated knowing he was in the next room and I wanted to sneak in but I couldn't. I didn't get any sleep at all, I just laid there listening to his voice play through my phone. His music has always meant the world to me but now it's something more.

The door opens and I turn around ashamed of what I look like, I hug myself and rest my head on the wall hoping Billie can't see anything. I let a few tears roll down my face as the glass door opens but nothing is said. His fingertips run down my sits and to my hips, slowly he turns me around but doesn't look at my body, he just looks me in the eyes and pulls me into a hug as a cry into his shoulder.

"You're beautiful." He whispers running his fingers through my hair, his lips kiss the top on my head and his body is firm against mine. I just let him comfort me as the water washes everything away.

"I'm scared." I squeeze my eyes shut, Billies hands run up and down my back just avoiding my butt. "I'm scared of the future."

"Hey, it's ok. I'll be here with you every step of the way, I'll never leave you alone and I promise you that." His lips move against my forehead as he speaks, I generally kiss his shoulder and pull away slightly. I'll always love you."

"Even when in old and wrinkly?" I look down moving the settled water and the floor with my toe nervously, I don't feel as comfortable around Billie as I used to and I don't know why but I'm guessing to because it's just not sex.

"Babe, remember I'm double your age and I'm already old and wrinkly." Billie chuckles lightening up the situation, his laugh is like music to my ears. I can't help but to giggle and Billie pulls me into a loving embrace.

"You're still the best looking man I know." I smile at his cuteness, he smiles back but leans down and place his lips against mine. "I love you Beej."

"I love you too Ry but let's hurry up in the shower because I have a surprise for you." Beej turns off the water and hands me a towel, I step out wrapping the towel around me.

It's times like this where I feel like it's back to normal, it's Billie and Ryan against the world and no one can stop us. The whole time Billie hasn't changed, he hasn't held anything against me and has given be the same love and respect since the beginning. It was just Sex at the beginning but still we made it romantic, it's strange because I've never been treated like this before, I was just a toy that people has sex with but now I'm more than that.

Billie picks out my clothes and has them laid out for when I get out of the shower, he brushes my hair when I play on my phone and he'll tell me that I don't need makeup to be beautiful. It's just the small things he does and he does it everyday but still manages to surprise me. Billie is my perfect boyfriend, always has been and will never stop.

"How do you put together perfect outfits for me?" I ask as I pull on my ripped black shorts, Billie laughs grabbing my hands pulling me close before he lets go and does up my buttons for me.

"Because I've been watching you ever since the first day I met you, I know what you like. Call me a stalker but it's true, I thought you were gorgeous. Now for that surprise." He says seductively, his arm snakes around my waist as he leads me down the hall.

There's talking in the lounge, all I can really hear is Jakob's voice. I look at Billie and he doesn't budge, I can't even think of what this could be. We turn the corner and all I can see is Jakob which is what I thought but who in the hell is he talking to. Billie nudges me forward and I see someone's feet resting on the edge of the coffee table, what is going on?

"Hey Ryan, this is Chris." Jakob gestures to the boy on the couch that looks the same age as Jake, he has dirty blond hair and a slim figure and after the bonding session with Jakob I think he may be a drummer for Jakob's 'band thing'. I can never keep up with this shit.

"Hey." I matter slightly waving, Chris returns the gesture but Billie continues to drag my to the kitchen. This is ridiculous, utterly ridiculous. He grabs my thighs picking me up and placing me on bench, he stands between my legs. "Billie?"

"Just one thing before the surprise; come back on the road with me, It's just a little less than month and I can't do it without you." He begs and kisses my cheek, I hug him but I'm not sure if I can or not. I want to so bad but at the same time I can't just go back on the road again, it's just so much being on tour. People use it as a getaway but I see it as the complete opposite because when your there you can't getaway.

"Let me think, ok babe?" I quickly kiss him and than wait for this 'surprise', the anticipation is killing me. If Jakob had nothing to do with it than who does? Billie motions for me to stay there, I don't even move a muscle as he leave the room and heads outside. There's laughter as Tre and Mike walk in but behind them is Billie with so thing in his hands.