Alone [ministar]

Tears for...

"So you left your room." I look away from the TV and see Simon standing in the doorway.

"Yeah." I sigh, "It's New Year's Eve tomorrow.

"I know." Simon came and sat down next to me, "Are you feeling alright."

"I guess." Am I feeling alright, it's been almost a year since it all started and once again I'm entering new year alone, "Is JJ throwing another party and not telling us again."

"Almost." Simon laughed, "He told us he's throwing a party and didn't listen when we said no."

"A typical JJ thing to do." I smile for the first time in weeks, "Who's coming?"

"Just about everyone we know."

"Is Ellie and Jamie?" I asked and Simon shook his head, "Can you invite them for me."

"Alright and are you sure your okay?" He asked, I know he's thinking about last year as well, as much as I've tried to forget everything I know that it will never leave my mind."

"Yeah I'm fine." I lie, I haven't been fine for a long time.

"If your sure." We sat watching friends on the tv for about a hour when Simon stood up, "I'm just going to get party shit. Wanna come?"

"No thanks I need to edit a video to go up tomorrow."

"Alright." Simon left leaving me alone.

When I heard him leave I got up and went to my room. When I shut the door I buried my face in the pillow and let all the tears I've been holding back out.

Tears for Simon.
Tears for Ellie.
Tears for Lachlan.
Tears for myself.
Tears for being dumb.
Tears for being hopeless.
Tears for being worthless.
Tears for my mistakes.
Tears for how it started.
Tears for when I ended it.
Tears for trying to forget.
Tears for hurting everyone around me.
Tears for this year.

Tears for tomorrow.

I cried until their was no tears left and I was left alone in my room hugging a pillow damp with my tears.

Authors note

It's so close to the end. I'm happy that I've managed to finish it but sad at the same time. I don't want it to end.

It feels as if this story is now a part of me. I've put so many of my emotions in this its became a sort of escape. You know somewhere to let it all out.

That's why I hurt your feels so much sorry guys. My first intentions were happiness.

They went out the window didn't they.

Anyway the next chapter will be the last so look forward to that. I'm really scared to post it and then it would be completed. I may post the first chapter of my Vikklan fic but it would get updates for a few weeks.

Hugs, kisses and peace ✌🏻️