Alone [ministar]

Considering

It's been a week since I told Simon. A week since he said he loved me. A week since he lied.

A week of considering giving Simon a chance.

A week of arguing with myself.

I scroll though my Facebook and spot a old friend from school, she's always been a bit of trouble and she has exactly what I need. A distraction.

I decide to message her not knowing what else to do. Is this even a good idea?

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After a few hours I stumble up to the sidemen house holding onto the wall for support being high as well as drunk out of my mind probably wasn't the best idea I had. Failing to put my key in the door I curl up on the door step.

"Vikk?" I look up to the door and see the tall figure of Simon standing their, "Are you drunk?"

"A little." I giggle standing up then falling into Simon who catches me.

"You smell like weed." He said still holding onto me,"Are you high?"

"Maybe a little." I giggle again.

"I'm talking you to bed."

"Yeah yours." I stand up leaning onto his chest and playing with his hair, "I mean it's what you want isn't it?"

"No Vikk come on you need sleep." Simon try's to push me off of him but I grab onto the soft hairs on the back of his neck.

"You used me all them other times and now I want it you won't." I slowly stroke his cheek, "All you did was take advantage."

"You don't know what your saying."

"I do and I want you." I pause putting my hand on Simons mouth as he attempts to speak, "And I know you want it too Simon."

"No Vikk I don't. Not like this." He pushes me off of him, "I'm going to get you to bed then go to sleep myself."

"You did this Simon. You claiming you loved me."

He looks down at the floor keeping his distance from me, "I do Vikk that's why I'm trying to make you sleep."

"Sure you do Simon. Sure." I attempt to climb up the stairs and end up sitting on the bottom step, "I want you. You want me you should make the most of this as it won't be coming around too often."

"Vikk please you don't know what your saying. Your drunk and high."

"Drunk words are sober thoughts." I smile, "Who you are don't change because you drank a little. It's just the things you've been hiding under the surface come out. It's the more real version of you."

"This isn't you." He pulls me up, "I'm taking you to bed."

"If you bothered to listen to anything I said you would know pain, suffering and failure are the building blocks of my life." Tears roll down Simons face and I laugh, "Now it's you who's crying. I can make you forget."

"No Vikk." He attempts to say stubbornly but it comes out in a squeak, "I'm taking you to bed we will talk about this when your normal again."

"I might not want you in the morning. I want you now."

"Well I'm not giving in. If I have to I will call Josh to help me get you to bed." I grab his shoulders and pull him close to me, "I'm being for real."

"We all know what you want."

"I don't even know what I want."

"I can show you." I smirk knowing Simon is bound to give in, finally it will be him relying on me, he won't pretend to love me after I leave him now.

"No Vikk." I grit my teeth in frustration, I thought I had him, "If you feel like this when your sober and we talked maybe but not now."

"Have it your way but you will regret missing out on this." I start dragging myself up each step unable to walk properly.

"Let me help you up to your room." Ignoring what I said he helps me stand and walks me up to my room with me leaning onto him for support, when we get up to my room before leaving he whispers to me, "Goodnight Vikk I love you."

When the door closes the tears silently fall down my face. Why must he do this. He spoils everything. I burry my head in a pillow hopefully muffling any noise I make. Why?

Authors note

I'm in English and we are doing writing so why not continue this. Also thank you all for 5k I'm not sure if I should do a big thank you chapter. Also we are doing things about pets that bought up a interesting question. Should pets be spoiled or are they here to be useful.

What do you think about this?

I walked out of school will explain next chapter.

Now this is basically the chapter that decides it all. Well it's not I can change my mind and I probably will. The ending is finalised well the last two lines are in my notes page.