Cerulean Star

Chapter 27: Unbearable

It's difficult to say that I got better the closer the time brought me to the pain that I'd put off for so long. Anytime I was left alone to my thoughts, my mind wandered to my days of naivety when I believed that my adopted family members had succumbed to a disease. And now it was I who would follow in their footsteps as this powerful vampire.

But always at the forefront of my thoughts were Felix and Edward. Out of respect, Felix continued to avoid me so that I was free to make my decision. Aro was not happy that Felix had done so, but I found it to be a nice gesture. But with Felix withdrawing, I felt so empty.

Unfortunately, Edward did not step up the way I had hoped he would. Maybe my words to Alice were correct: too much damage was already done.

Which was why I was surprised to wake up on my final day as a human to find Edward perched on my bedpost.

"Good morning Bella." He said with his perfect voice.

"Edward." I sat up in the bed, and groaned knowing my hair was probably a bird's nest.

"Can I trouble you today for a walk this morning? I'd like to speak with you." Edward allowed his nose to pinch; whatever he wanted to talk about must be serious. Especially since this was the most he'd ever said to me since arriving in Volterra.

"Yes. I um, I just need a human moment." He nodded to excuse me, and I ran to my closet and found some dark blue jeans and a black t-shirt. I grabbed some underwear and ran again for my bathroom. Not wanting to waste time I hurried in the shower, multi-tasking brushing my teeth, washing my hair, and shaving in record time.

Edward was still sitting on the post when I returned to my room. I grabbed my grey wrap sweater since it was still early in the morning.

"We can take the window, it'll be faster." Edward said and I didn't object. I slipped into my converse before jumping onto Edwards back. I wrapped my arms around him, fitting perfectly against his body, and buried my head into his back. I took long whiffs of his scent and my lips curled into a smile. Everything about being with Edward just felt right.

He ran through my backyard jungle before coming to the meadow, I knew he'd be the one to find it.

"I found this the first day we came out here to hunt." Edward said when he sat me down on the ground. My feet almost slipped from the dew that rested on the grass, but Edward waited till I righted myself before letting go.

"Felix found our meadow back in Forks. He didn't know I knew about it, he just thought it was something that I would enjoy."

"Bella you don't need to explain. I brought you out here, yes for the resemblance, but I more because it was a familiar setting that I could get my words out more fluently." I was proud that I didn't smile at whatever he was getting at. I just thought it was funny to watch a vampire struggle for words.

"I've been an ass, everyone has pretty much told me so." He tapped his head to let me know that it was in their minds that they had one sided conversations with him. "But I didn't need them to tell me that, I already knew."

He placed a cold hand on my lips when I tried to speak. "Please let me finish. I know we said that we'd start over slow, and I kind of back pedaled. There really isn't anything more I can say." I looked at him like he was crazy. He knew what was at stake and before he said anything of substance, he just stopped?

After about two seconds, I realized why he stopped. His lips came crashing down on mine, our arms were entwined around each other and I was reluctant to pull away from the passion but I still needed to breathe.

"Edward."

"Please choose me. I've already discussed leaving the family for the Volturi. Anything to be with you." Edward was pleading. His golden eyes peered into mine as if he was trying to dazzle me, but I bit my lip to keep me focused. Shock couldn't even describe at the revelation that he'd already discussed leaving the Cullen's. The very thing I didn't want to happen.