Sleepovers «Juuzou X Reader»

°Sleep pretty darling, do not cry°

TRIGGER WARNING
This chapter, things get a little depressing. Please think before you read it! I don't want any of you to get hurt!
Okay bye!

~Your POV~

It was the next day, well night and I was video chatting with Juuzou before he headed to bed. He was still very use to the Japan time zone, so he was struggling with that.

I smiled as I saw him drink another cup of coffee. "I wish I could have coffee." I laughed slightly.

"It's good, but right now I'm drinking it to stay awake." He rested his head on his hand. "Your still not feeling any pain? It's sorta starting to bother me. What happens if you stop being able to feel pain? You could get seriously injured." I saw him frown.

"Juuzou, I just lost the feeling of pain. There isn't anything we can do about it. It's an actual disorder that people have, it's rare, but I guess I got it." I sighed heavily. I stopped caring if I got injured. I didn't really care about my own life anymore. Juuzou always seemed so happy, I didn't get why I couldn't be that happy.

People think that if you have depression, your sad all the time, but that's not really true. You can be laughing with your friends, and really having a good time, but then that one thing destroys you.

" Juuzou, I'm gonna head to bed. I'm sorry. Goodnight, but please take a nap." I smiled slightly to him.

He nodded and we both hung up.

I stood up and headed to our bedroom. I opened up the closet and got dressed into my pajamas, but I noticed a box the top shelf. I sighed out and headed to the kitchen, to get myself a stool.

Well, I set the stool down on the ground and I grabbed be box.

I sat down on the bed and slowly started to open it. It had all of his knives for ghouls, well backup knives. Juuzou always kept a lot with him, these were his backups.

I started to pick one up, seeing how sharp it was.

I ran my finger over the blade, making my finger bleed. Ghouls can't get hurt by normal weapons, but with these, they can.

I put the one in my pocket and headed to the bathroom.

I pulled it out of my pocket and placed it against my wrist. 'Wait, the wrist is so noticeable. I can't do it there.' I started to move the blade to my thigh.

I took a breath, and I mess that first cut. I didn't feel any pain, like always. I cut really deep. There was blood on the blade, and it was just seeping out of the wound.

I started to tighten my grip more, abd I slid the blade again, but on a different spot. Tears started to fog my vision as I did it a couple more times.

When I stood up and looked in the mirror, there was blood, just dripping down my legs, as I was also abusing the other one. My eyes were red and puffy.

I cleaned Juuzou's blade off, then put some band-aids onto my skin, so I wouldn't get blood on our bed.

I crawled in bed, yet was having a hard time getting to sleep.

I was so restless, just tossing and turning.

I sat up, forgetting to put the blade away. I took it out of my pocket and back in its case. I stood up, got onto the stool, and put it away.

I knew when Juuzou got home, he would probably ask why I have band aids over my thighs. I couldn't think of something that I would say, so I would just hide my legs.

I knew it wouldn't take to long to heal, but they were special CCG weapons, so it'd take longer to heal. Plus I'd probably have the scars.

I crawled in bed, trying to get to sleep. I laid in bed till about 5:00 in the morning. I sorta gave up on trying to sleep.

Wonder what today has in store for me.