A Little Piece of Heaven - {Synyster Gates - Book 1} -

Chapter 22

Katie’s POV

I slammed the door shut and locked the car before I ran up to the front door of my boyfriend’s house. But right as I was about to enter I held myself back. I had no idea what I would find behind this door and I was afraid to face him.

What if Brian would lose it like Lenny did? What if he was even worse? My stomach grew into knots and the dead cold claws of this familiar fear paralyzed me again. It was just like the times when I would come home to Lenny, waiting for the next beating. He had always found something I did wrong or not according to his liking. Even the smallest mistake was reason enough to kick, punch or stab me.

Gasping I turned away from the door hugging myself. The warm and loving feeling I usually felt for him was gone and nothing but fear and cold filled my insides. Tears ran down my cheeks, tears of regret – I didn’t want to be the fearful person I was now. Brian had never done anything to hurt me, it was the complete opposite. He was sweet, caring and a very good listener. Even small signals, like me tensing up or me changing the subject – he knew something was up, he sensed it. But somehow I couldn’t go in there. This step was so hard to take.

Suddenly I felt a soft blanket around my shoulders and broad hands rubbing my upper arms.

“What are you doing outside?” Brian whispered which only sent me over the edge. I turned around and cried into his chest. He was taken aback by my sudden movement. He tensed but wrapped his arms around me holding me tight.

“I’m so sorry. Brian, you have no idea how sorry I am.” I sobbed and clenched the back of his shirt.

“Sssshhh baby, it’s alright…” Brian rubbed my back swaying us a little.

“No. No it’s not!” I pulled back and wiped my tears and smudged make-up from my cheeks. Taking a deep breath with my eyes closed I took his hands. “You were right.” I looked up at him. “I keep something from all of you.” He lifted my hands to his lips and kissed them.

“I knew it baby. I saw it in your eyes the first time we met and it has never really left them.” He pulled me towards the entrance. “Let’s get inside where you can tell me what’s bringing my sweet angel down.”

“Only if you tell me what’s weighing you down.” I said stopping in my tracks.

“I …”

“It would only be fair. Besides you have the same shadow in your eyes since forever. You gotta talk about it too.”Sighing he nodded and together we came into his living room. Pinkly jumped onto my lap, happy to have me back but this time she couldn’t make me smile.

Brian was really supporting. He held my hand and waited patiently for me to begin which gave me a up to this date unknown reassurance, that settled down deep inside of me. Finally I felt it deep to the core of my self that Brian was different, that I could trust him with my life.

“This, what I’m about to tell you, made me the way I am now. I’m not proud of my weakness and if I was able to erase all that from my memory and my past I’d do it without a second thought. Just … one last thing…” I sat Pinkly down and wrapped the blanket closer around myself.

“Anything, my princess, just name it.” He grabbed my hands. Smiling softly I kissed his and let go of his grip to hide my hands under the blanket.

“Just listen. Don’t do or say anything until I have finished ok?” He nodded. I moved to sit crisscross in front of him while he looked at me with a mix of pride, love, concern and curiosity in his eyes. Pinkly curled up between us and taking a deep breath I started to tell him my story.