She Knows... | sm + cc

Poison

(This isn't Camila, but this is what she's supposed to look liked during this chapter.)

Camila ~
The call ended and I threw my phone across the room. I curled my body up in fetal position on the bed.

Why do I have to love him?
Why does he have to fuck all my feelings up?

My tears swell up my eyes and make rivers on the carpet.
Why'd he have to go on and cheat on me? He says he loves me and I want to believe him so bad but how am I supposed to do that? How can I even trust him after what he did? I love him too much to risk our relationship, but if I do, would it be worth the while? He's made the happiest person in the world when we were together. I want that back.
I know he's bad for me and I know he's no good and I know the only thing he'll do is hurt me more and more but I need him. It's not even a want anymore, it's a need.
I want him to be good for me so badly and I need him to be good for me so much, but I know he'll just bring me down.
He's just my personal brand of poison and I know he'll only end up killing me, but he brings in such a sweet taste in my life that it keeps me going.
And, I know him and I know just how sweet and sincere and loving he is and I know what he wouldn't do to hurt me. I know that seeing me in pain isn't his cup of tea. Or at least I don't think it is.
My heart has bursted into a billion pieces and there's nothing I can do about it.
Somebody please come and help me. My mind is boggling all around the place and I can't tell what's good or bad for me anymore.