After finding out that her boyfriend, Shawn Mendes, has been cheating on her while she's been out on tour, Camila Cabello wants him out of her memory. On the other hand, Shawn wants to apologize for his stupid mistake, but can't seem to get Camila b...
Camila ~ I sat in the driver's seat of my small Toyota pondering whether I should or should not do it. I need an escape from the disgusting reality that is my life. It should be easy. I'll go full speed ahead into a tree. Seems like it would work. I'm so sorry, Shawn, mom, dad, Sofi. I'm not being selfish, there just isn't anything anyone can do to help me anymore. I'm ready to leave this place to enter eternal bliss. I took out my phone to say one last goodbye to my loved ones. A tear trickled down my cheek as I have officially given up on everything. Through all of the shit that I've been through, this will be the last of it. I dialed my father's phone number as I held my phone up to my ear. "Sorry I couldn't get to you." He always answers his phone and the one time I actually needed him to talk to me, he's not available. My hand slammed the steering wheel in frustration. Maybe Shawn would answer. I don't know if I can take hearing his voice. I have to, though. The phone began to ring once again after I dialed in his number.
"Hello?" He answered the call with worry. I hadn't had the chance to fully explain why I left. Well, there was an obvious explanation why, but he doesn't know what I plan to do. I almost feel disappointed in myself. Nonetheless, it is happening.
"Shawn?" I nearly choked on my words. "Where are you, Camila?" "I have to tell you something." "Tell me where you are first." "Shawn, just let me tell you something extremely important." "No! Tell me where you are and I'll come and get you." "Shawn! For goodness sakes! Can you let me fucking talk for once?!" "No! Tell me where you are! I'm worried about you." "Obviously, you aren't worried enough to listen to what I have to say... Even if it is the most important thing right now..." "Camila, wait--" "Goodbye, Shawn. I've always loved you."
I hung up in him.... I. Hung. Up. On. Him. I guess he's the last person I'll talk to. That's depressing. Does it count if I talk to myself? Probably not. Now I feel terrible for leaving things off on a bad note. It's not MY fault he's just a dick that wouldn't let me explain. My phone continued to ring. Shawn is trying to get me to call him, but it won't work. I'm sorry. My foot aggressively stomped on the pedal as I was prepared to make everything just... Go away. I still can't believe I'm doing this. What would God do? Probably hate me for thinking this is the only way out of my problems. I'm sorry, God, I'll miss my friends. I'll miss my family. I'll miss Shawn, even though we fell out of love.
[Four hours later] Shawn ~ "I'm sorry, Sir." They covered Camila's face badly injured face with a towel as I began to ball my eyes out. I can't think of anything smart to say to show exactly how I feel about the only person I really loved being dead. According to the nearby speed traffic cameras. There weren't any cars around for her to swerve. They haven't cleared it being a suicide or not, but they all know it is. I know it is. I let go of her hand realizing that she's not going to wake up. She's not going to have the reason she killed herself disappear. She's not going to go back to the way she once was and she's not going to love me the way she did before. I'm not even exactly sure why she left. Was it something I did? Something at her work? Family problems? She didn't even get to explain it to me. I walked off, away from the "crime scene." Seeing that it's only going to be considered just another suicide in their eyes. She was so much more than a number on a spreadsheet. I can't even explain how much she really meant to me. Words... Words should be explains how I felt for her, but I can't. I can't get myself to piece sentences together to explain my love about her. I can't, I can't, I can't. My heart aches and my throat is sore and I just can't. I'm sorry I disappointed you, Camila. I can't.
Thank you all very much for reading this book. It has been extremely satisfying to write this story for you all. You guys will never understand how much I appreciate all of the votes and loving comments. It really makes my day better. Thank you. So that's how this longing story end. Camila becomes so burdened with her "bad" decisions that she decides to kill herself to escape her terrible reality. Shawn is then depressed, but he never considers killing himself. Knowing how much people were effected by her death, he wouldn't want them to go through that again. He is now happily married (many many many years later) with one child. He knows that Camila would want him to move on past her. No matter what happens and who he marries, he'll always love her.
Damn. This ending was hard to write, because I never want to kill off my characters, but I felt that this was the most appropriate way to end it. Camila is emotionally unstable in this, so it is reasonable that she did this. Even though Camila killed herself, I hope that none of you think it's acceptable to take your own life. Killing yourself is never the solution, because your worth it. Obviously, there won't be any sequel happening. Thank you so much for reading this crazy ass book and I do hope you enjoyed this journey with me, Shawn, and Camila. I really do you love you all for everything you do. You are truly worth every fiber in your being no matter what people say. 🌠
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Finished July 20th, 2016; 9:18 AM Published July 24th, 2016; 4;15 PM
