His Mortal Enemy

19

Booze, loud music, people dancing, smokes and people partying like there is no tomorrow. Ilang bote na ang natutumba nilang magkakaibigan ngunit ayaw pa rin paawat ni Earnest. Ilang oras na silang nasa bar na pagaari nang isa sa kanyang mga kaibigan at kahit sobrang lasing na siya ayaw nya pa ring tumigil. 

Magaapat na buwan na siya sa maynila and he still does the same thing. Drinking when when he finds himself thinking about her and their child. Sa araw, he drowns himself with work until dawn. Pati ata trabaho nang sekritarya nya sya na umako. Kung noon napapagalitan sya for no showing any interest in their business, ngayon halos pagabawalan na siyang pumasok nang opisina nang mga pinsan nya. Baka raw kasi madatnan nalang sila siya isang araw na nanigas na sa opisina nya sa sobrang pagka'workaholic nya.

''Bro, mauna na ako sa inyo. Angela's going bersick already. Baka ma'outside de colambo ako mamaya.'' his friend Jake said. Isang tango lang ang isinagot niya. Sumunod na ang iba pa niyang mga kaibigan hanggang sila nalang dalawa ni Joss ang natira. They kept quite and just drink nang for a few minutes before Joss broke the silence.

''You know, whatever problem you have, you know that you can always tell us, right?'' anito bago nilagok ang ang lamang alak sa baso nito.

Inubos muna niya ang lamang rhum sa baso bago nagsalita. Maybe it's about time na may mapagsabihan sya nang bigat nang dibdib. Maybe Joss can tell him what to do.

''I got someone pregnant.'' he said in almost a whisper.

Sumipol ito at tiningnan siya nang maigi.

''Is that the reason why you're drowning yourself in alcohol this past few months?'' tanong nito na sinagot lang nya nang buntong-hininga. 

''Why did you marry Anna when you got her pregnant?'' 

My pagkapareho din kasi ang sitwasyon niya ngayon at ang sitwasyon nito noon. Nabuntis nito ang girlfriend when they were in their last year in collage. 

''Because that is what a man is supposed to do after banging a woman that he got pregnant. Lalo na at di nagingat.'' walang-pakundangang wika nito. 

''Easier said than done.''

''Kaya nga dapat nagiingat, di ba?''

''But what if it was unplanned?'' pamimilit pa rin nya. Gusto niyang sabihin nito ang mga salitang gusto niyang marinig at hindi ang salitang kailangan niya.

''Unplanned or not doesn't change the fact that you are already afather. That you were a willing participant in creating that life. Na dugo at laman mo pati dna mo is half of that child's dna.'' 

Wala siyang mahanap na sagot sa sinabi nito. He nailed it. Totoo naman kasi ang sinabi nitong willing participant siya. Hindi siya pinilit o siniduce ni Amanda. Pakiramdam pa nga niya, his the one who initiate it. 

''Alam mo brad, kahit di mo sabihin, alam kung kaya ka nandito sa manila dahil tinatakasan mo ang responsibilidad mo sa anak at ina nang anak mo.'' pagpapatuloy nito. Nakatungo lang siya habang nakikinig dito. ''I get that you are not ready for the responsibility of being a father. You're still young and life has just begun. Hindi mo pa nga natutupad kalahati  nang mga pangarap mo eh tapos bigla nalang may puputol. That's not fair, right? Pero, ito.. sa tingin mo ba fair din iyon sa nanay nang anak mo? Sa tingin mo, gusto din niyang maging ina nang wala sa plano? You think, like you, she is also not scared of the fact na may malaking responsibilidad na siyang dapat gampanan? May bata na siyang aalagaan, bubuhayin at pagaaralin? And to top it all, she needs to do it alone.'' 

Damn!

''When i first found out that Anna was pregnant with Kelsy, I also wanted to run away.'' he confessed that made him look with a question mark on his face. ''Don't get me wrong. I love Anna, but the thought of having a child before even graduating collage, before even having my own money, that freak me out. Nakakatakot. Paano ba maging ama? Paano ba ang maging responsableng ama when all my life i have no sense of responsibility? How a i going to provide for this kid, when i am also dependent to my parents for support? When all i know is to party and be irresponsible.'' uminom muna ito nang beer bago uli nagpatuloy. ''Pero alam mo what change my mind.. it was when me and Anna saw our first child in the ultrasound monitor inside the abortion clinic.''

''What?!'' hindi makapaniwalang wika niya dito. Yes, he might not want to be a father at this time of his life, pero ni minsan hindi sa sumagi sa utak nya ang i'suggest kay Amanda na ipalaglag ang anak nila.

''That was how scared we we're. But, everything change when we first heard our baby's heartbeat. Something happened and i don't know what it is that made me want to protect that litte life we create. And for the first time, i feel in love at first sight. Nagkaroon ako bigla nang lakas to face everything. Nang tapang to take on the responsibility even if i don't know kung kakayanin ko ba. And for that, ilang suntok ba ang inabot ko from my dad and to Anna's family.'' he chuckle like he remembered something that is very funny. ''But lahat yun, was worth it. Anna and my child now is my life. Sya nga pala, bago pa mapunta nang tuluyan sa drama itong kwentuhan natin, ninoy ka sa second baby namin.'' nagnining-ning ang mga matang wika nito.

''Did you ever regret it?'' it sounds gay but he needs to know. 

''No. Not even for a second. If i have to go through this again, i would still choose to walked out that abortion clinic. Heck! I would never consider going in again.'' wik nitong tila hindi makapaniwala that they even consider such thing before. ''That was dumb and stupid.''

''Ihave to agree with you on that.'' saad niya bago tinungga ang nalalabing alak sa baso.

''Anyway, i got to go. Baka magwala na si buntis doon. Mamaya magmana na naman sa pagiging maldita nya ang anak namin.'' natatawang wika nito na ikinatawa din niya. 

''Yeah.'' he agreed sabay tayo. They walked out the bar when they're done paying their bill.

''Salamat nga pare.'' wika nya.

''Nah.. didn't do anything. I hope i somehow help you clear your mind though.''

''You did. Thanks again.'' wika nya bago sila tuluyang nagpaalam sa isa't-isa.

He took a glimpse of his face sa mirror. Memorizing each angle. Baka kasi bukas at sa susunod na mga araw, bakal nalang ang magdudugtog nang mga buto nya sa  mukha.