Saving Me

All Alone

After Ashley got dressed she opened the door and wordlessly walked past me in the direction of the study room. I stayed in the room alone, reading The Great Gatsby for most of the day, I decided not to meet up with Rachael and Stacy—I didn't want to impose on their alone time. They probably don't get much of it living here. It was about four hours later before everyone—except Ashley, returned to the room.

"Hey, Spencer." Madison says as she enters the room. I put down her book and greeted her. Stacy and Rachael following closely behind her—both giggling.

"Hey Spencer." They both giggle out in unison. I smile and wave a hello to the pair.

"I borrowed your book, I hope you don't mind." I tell Madison, waving the book in the air to show her.

She waves me off and says, "It's cool." Flopping down on the bed she asks, "So did you just sit in here and read all day?"

I shake my head no and reply, "I actually hung out with my old foster brother."

"Oh." Is all she says.

"Why didn't you come to the park, Spence?" Stacy asks as her and Rachael sit down on Rachael's bed.

I shrug, "I didn't want to impose."

"You wouldn't have been imposing." Rachael insists, as Stacy whispers something in her ear. She giggles and kisses her girlfriend.

Madison shakes her head at them. "Don't mind them." She says a little louder than necessary. "They get like that sometimes." She adds.

I smile and shake my head, "It's okay. I think it's cute."

"You won't think it's cute when they start making noises like animals in heat." Madison says sarcastically.

Stacy lifts up from her position on the bed—now underneath Rachael, and says "Fuck you, Mads." Madison sticks her tongue out at her before turning her attention back to me.

"So, this foster brother of yours...is he cute?" She asks, quirking a brow. I never looked at Aiden in that way. I've always seen him as just a brother.

"I guess." I shrug.

"I guess doesn't cut it." She says with a smile. "Is he tall, short, fat... come on, give me something, Spencer."

I rack my brain to think of features that Madison would want to hear about. I just see Aiden as this dorky 16 year old who likes to play video games.

"Um..." I start, figuring out a way to answer the question. "He's tall, funny, he has a great personality, he's really fun to be around too." I tell her and she makes a disgusted face. "What?" I ask.

"He sounds...i don't know... girly." I giggle at her. "Is he hot was the question, Spencer."

"I guess girls think he's hot. He plays soccer and he's in really good shape." I say nodding my head.

"Now that's more like it." Madison nods and says. "Next time you hang out with him, take me along." She adds.

"Mkay." I say as she puts headphones in her ears. I'm assuming to drown out the noises that Stacy and Rachael are now making. I guess this is something that happens often. Me personally, I'm not used to other people showing their feelings for each other...sexually, in my presence. I grab the book and get up from my bed to excuse myself just as Madison reaches in her dresser drawer and pulls out a sleep mask and puts it over her eyes.

When I get out the door I'm not sure of where to go exactly. I missed lunch and dinner isn't for another hour. I decide to go to the study hall. I walk down the hall and make a right, heading towards the study room, knowing I would have enough peace and quiet to read in there. As I enter the study room, I see that the only person in it is Ashley. Is this where she's been hiding out all day?

"Have you been in here all day?" I ask taking a seat a few chairs away from where her head is buried in a book.

She looks up and rolls her eyes before removing her reading glasses, "Are you following me?" She snaps. She's been in here all day, I just got in here. How could I possibly be following her?

"No." I snap back.

"Look." She says pausing to gather up her things. "I don't know you and I don't want to know you so just leave me alone, okay?" She says harshly before storming out of the room, not even waiting for me to respond.

I stayed in the study room until it was dinner time. I didn't really feel like going back to the room and chancing running into Ashley for another verbal assault today—two was plenty. I was the first of my roommates to make it to the dinning hall, which I was glad of. I kinda just wanted to sit by myself and not have to talk. After grabbing my tray I picked an empty table in the corner, far away from the table that my roommates were sitting at yesterday and sat down.

"What's up, Spencer?" Rachael asks, placing her tray down next to me.

"Nothing." I reply as Madison, Stacy and a reluctant looking Ashley joins us.

"Why are you sitting over here in the corner, all by yourself?" Kyla asks, picking up her dinner roll—taking a big bite out of it. Kyla is sitting next to me on my right, Rachael is on my left with Stacy next to her and both Madison and Ashley are sitting on the other side of the table.

"I don't know." I shrug.

"Where'd you disappear to a while ago?" Stacy asks, leaning forward, looking past Rachael to me.

Ashley and I share a look before I say, "I just went to read, that's all." I assure them, getting a head nod from the table as everyone eats their dinner.

"No plans tonight, right Spencer?" Stacy asks as Rachael leans over and starts kissing her neck.

"Um...uh no." I say to the pair who can't seem to keep their hands off of each other right now.

"Come on you guys, not while I'm trying to eat." Madison says making a disgusted face.

Rachael flips Madison off before turning to me, "You're coming with us then." She says then turns back around to her girlfriend, continuing her assault on her neck. It's kinda hard to think with these two practically humping each other right next to me.

"Coming with you where?" I ask Rachael.

"Back to school party." Kyla answers for the preoccupied couple.

"Schools not for three weeks." I say scrunching up my face in confusion.

"Yeah but there's tons of parties in those three weeks." Madison speaks up. "We try and go to all of them." She adds with a smile and head tilt.

"But we're not supposed to leave after dinner." I point out something that I'm sure they are all already aware of.

"You're not a narc, are you?" Kyla leans over and whispers.

"No." I say quickly. "I'm not."

"Cool." She shrugs and goes back to eating.

"I don't know what you're so excited about." Stacy stops kissing her girlfriend. "You're not going." She adds.

"But but but..." Kyla tries.

"You're too young." Madison tells her.

"You guys let Sarah go when she was 14." Kyla whines. The mere mention of this Sarah person caused a visible change in Ashley's demeanor.

"You can't go, Ky." Ashley says lifting her head up. "End of story." She adds in a low voice.

"Boo, you guys are no fun. It's not fair!" Kyla says before getting up and stomping away to a table with a bunch of the younger kids. I look in Ashley's direction and catch her eyes before she quickly averts them back down to her food.

"So you in, Spence?" Stacy asks.

"Yeah." I shrug. Why not?