Saving Me

The Past and The Future

Four years ago

"You think that Mrs. Newman will notice if I sneak out the back of the school bus?" A dark haired girl asks as she comes and sits down next to me.

"Um..." I start. I've seen this girl around school before but I've never really talked to her and she's never even looked in my direction before right now. "I'm not sure that jumping off a moving bus would be the best idea." I tell her truthfully. Peeking my head up over the seat to see where Mrs. Newman was sitting.

"Hmm." She says glancing back towards the back door. "I never even thought of that." She tells me and gives me a small smile.

"I'm Taylor, by the way. You're Spencer, right?" She asks holding out her hand for me to shake.

"Uh, yeah." I answer. Not sure how she could possibly know my name.

"Well, it was nice to meet you Spencer." She says pulling her hand back. "And thanks for saving my life." She says then smiles and gets up, walking back up to her seat close to the front of the bus.

–

Ashley has been exceptionally quiet since we left Fox Island and I can't say that I blame her. That scene that took place between Taylor and I... I can just imagine how that must have seemed to her. I've wanted to say something to her about it since after we ate our hotdogs but I feel like every time I tried she would change the subject. Maybe she doesn't want to be with me like I want to be with her. Maybe the hold Sarah has on her heart is too strong to be broken. Maybe I've imagined that she could possibly feel the same way I feel about her.

We're on the way back to the Heart House and I desperately want to lean over and kiss her. Tell her that Taylor means nothing to me now. That what she saw was a goodbye kiss. That there is nothing that I want more than her.

But I can't... so I don't.

–

Five months ago

"I can't do this with you anymore, Spencer." Taylor tells me, getting up from my bed.

"I don't understand what I did, Tay. Please just talk to me." I plead with her.

"It's just not working." She shrugs. "I wanna see other people. We've been together forever, Spencer. It's time to move on." She adds.

I stand up from the bed. "So you're breaking up with me because you're tired of being in a committed relationship, is that what you're telling me?" I ask a little louder than my normal speaking voice. Not wanting to raise my voice too loud and alarm the Dennisons.

"When you put it like that Spence it makes me seem like the bad guy." She chuckles a little and takes a seat back on my bed. I'm not sure I get the joke.

"How am I supposed to say it, Taylor? You just said that you're breaking up with me and you don't even have a logical reason for doing so." I sit back down next to her.

"Spencer, it's not like we were gonna get married or anything. I mean, my God, we're only 16. What'd you think was going to happen with us?" She asks reaching out and grabbing my hand. Something that would normally be a loving gesture, but right now... not so much.

"You're antagonizing me." I say in a voice I don't recognize as my own. I think this is the first time that my heart has ached as much as it did the night I found out my parents died. How can you be in a relationship with someone for almost four years and then just decide that you're over it? How does that work?