Saving Me

Sarah...

Ashley's POV

I'm not sure what to feel anymore. I love Sarah, still... a month and a half after she's been gone. My heart unequivocally and undeniably still belongs to her. Yet, a part of me can't deny the connection I have to Spencer. She gets me somehow. Without me having to speak a word, she understands.

And I can't deny my attraction to her. She's beautiful. Those ocean blue eyes and her long blonde hair that cascades effortlessly over her shoulders. I've never felt so drawn to a person before. Since the moment I laid eyes on her... I felt it and it scared me. It scared me not only because I've just lost Sarah but because I've never allowed myself to feel the things Spencer makes me feel. I don't like becoming attached to people because people leave. It's human nature.

Every time I think about Spencer, I feel like I'm betraying Sarah—even though she's miles and miles away. Probably never coming back. I knew eventually I would get over her and move on, but I never expected the process to start so soon.

After talking to Spencer earlier, I know that I can't fight it anymore. I need to talk to her... to be around her. But my feelings for her contradict my feelings to stay true to Sarah. I promised her I wouldn't forget her. Just as she promised the same to me...

Six weeks ago...

"I don't wanna go, Ash." Sarah leans in and whispers in my ear.

"I know." I say simply. "But you have to." I lean forward and rest my forehead against hers, breathing in her scent—ingraining it into my memory.

"I wanna stay here with you." She whines out like a child. We've been together for three years and inseparable since she got here almost five years ago. I can't imagine being here without her.

"You have to go live with that family, Sare. You have to go be a teenager, with a real family—in a real home." I tell her lifting my head to kiss her forehead. "I love you." I whisper, barely audible. But I know she heard me.

"You promise to come visit me?" She asks through sobs.

"I promise." I know that it wasn't likely that I would. She was moving to another state.

"You promise not to forget me?" She asks and I smile knowing this was a promise I could keep.

"I promise." I whisper into her lips as I place a chaste kiss on them.

"I love you, Ashley Davies." She pulls me forward and kisses me again.

"I love you too, Sarah Anderson." I mumble into her mouth, willing myself not to start crying again.

"I'll never forget you." She says pulling back smiling. "Never." She says again slowly backing up from me. As she becomes out of arms reach our hands release and she quickly makes her way out of the door. I turn and look at her now empty area in what used to be OUR room and the tears start to fall freely. I jump up on my bed and curl up in ball. Telling myself that I would never leave my room again—no matter what.

"Ashley." I voice calls out from below me. I know it's Kyla. And I'm sure that Madison, Stacy and Rachael are close by as well. "Ashley, it's Ky. I'm here if you wanna talk." She pauses and I hear her sigh. "I'm not going anywhere." She tells me and the bed shifts and I know she's taken a seat on Rachael's bunk below me.

"We're all here, Ash." Stacy tells me. I turn over and look at the bed once occupied by Sarah. I shut my eyes and picture her face in my mind. Engraving it into my memory. I would never forget her. That was I promise I'd be keeping.