Splitting Hairs

One

Madali namang magpanggap. It had always been easy with me and Jean Rose before. Nung bata pa kami. But now is very much different! Kahit na ba iisa kami ng mukha. Kahit na ba aminado 'kong pareho kaming maganda.

I never thought that I would wake up one day and be Jean Rose forever!

Sabi nga ni Bea Alonzo sa movie na 'Sa 'yo lamang' kaya kong lahat 'wag lang 'to. Something like that. At lalong hindi ko kayang maghimala!

I can't be Mama Mary! Hindi ko kayang maghimala...

Hindi ba nila alam na hindi ako Immaculate Concepcion? Hindi ako santa. So, I think, kahit anong hiling ko kay God ay hindi ako lililiman ng kung anumang espiritu.

"Mrs. Sunico?"

I flinched. I looked up to see all their eyes on me.

I am not Mrs. Sunico!!!

Gusto ko 'yong isigaw. Handa na 'kong tumakbo. Kung hindi ko pipirmahan 'yun marriage certificate eh di walang legal na kasal. Ganon lang kasimple. The paper looked like a snake ready to jump on me. Napaatras ako. Bahala na si—

"Julian?" I bumped into him. Ang likod ko ay lumapat sa dibdib niya. He was there all along. He smiled at me. And I'll tell you... It wasn't a smile. It was more of a grimace. I couldn't meet his eyes. Mabilis akong humarap sa taong nagpapapirma sa 'kin ng marriage certificate. My feet were frozen on the ground. I felt my back pressed against his hard-muscled chest. Lumakad siya which tugged me along him. His strong arms surrounded me suddenly. Kinuha niya ang ballpen at inilagay sa mga kamay ko. Napatingala ako. Wrong move.

His brown chinito eyes sought mine. Bumaba ang ulo niya at tumapat halos ang bibig niya sa gilid ng bibig ko. Biglang napahawak ako ng mahigpit sa ballpen at napapirma ng wala sa oras. Pinirma ko ang initials since pareho kami ng initials na JR Leviste.

"That's my girl."

I thought I am going to faint any minute now. Malamang na sa tingin ng ibang tao ay sweet na sweet kaming magkayakap. Little did they know that this big brute was threatening me to sign this damned document that would bind us forever.

"Kiss! Kiss!"

No! My mind was screaming. My heart was racing. Forever. Marriage. And this was one of those... ahm.

Shit. Shit.

"Smile, sweetie. And we'll give them the show they've all been waiting for." He tilted my chin up. Sa gilid ng mga mata ko ay nakita ko ang pag-iyak ni mommy. Gusto kong sumigaw. Gusto kong sabihin sa kanyang dapat ako ang umiiyak at hindi siya. Isn't she happy? I became the good daughter they want me to be. All my life, I'd been the black sheep. At minsan na nga lang akong nag-attempt sumunod. Pumalpak pa!

"Jules... I think this is not a good ide—"

"Don't call me that." Galit na sabi nito. Just because of that?

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me tighter. He pinched my waist not-so-gently. I yelped. Lumapit ang mukha niya sa 'kin. As in, malapit na malapit. My eyes grew wide.

"Stop acting the naïve little virgin darling..." The sarcasm wasn't lost on me. He whispered that almost... to my mouth considering he was only an inch or two away from me. "Isn't it late for that?"

Mabagal ata ang pagpa-function ng brain cells ko. At hindi ko nakuha ang ibig niyang sabihin. Bakit virgin pa naman ako tal—

Pumikit agad ako ng makita kong pababa na 'yung mukha niya. This wasn't my first time to be kissed. But this was the first time I would be kissed by someone I am not in love with. May napakalaking difference 'yun!