Splitting Hairs

Thirty Two

Operation Iwas.

Whenever I bumped into someone, I didn't feel like being chummy-chummy with, the most effective way I do was simply pretend to busy myself with finding my purse or looking at something in the opposite direction. Pero hello? Wasn't it too obvious of me? Nakita ko na sila't lahat. Wala akong dalang bag para mag-pretend na may hinahalungkat.

I had failing eyesight.

Yes! I had as of today, this exact minute.

Pero pano ko idadahilang near-sighted ako, eh, kung tutuusin ilang hakbang na lang sila sa'kin? Damn. I gnawed at my lower lip. My hand was sweating coldly. This wasn't what I'd envisioned of seeing Julian again. Bakit ang hirap magkunwaring hindi ka nasasaktan? When in fact you wanted to cry in front of him?

You know what; I believed that there'd be that one person you couldn't ever forget in your life. Siya 'yung sa dinami dami ng nakahawak ng kamay mo. O kung marami man. Siya lang 'yung perfect fit para sa 'yo.

'Yung totoo? Pwede mong sabihing 'hindi na 'ko magmamahal ulit'. Words from a mouth of a heartbroken. Rubbish. You'd be a big-time liar. Kasi... we were made to be human. Human nature na 'yun. We'd keep falling and falling in love... over and over again.

But to those who had passed by. Tandaan niyo, may isang maiiwan diyan sa kasuluksulukan ng puso mo. Either he or she stayed or not for keeps. Hindi nga ba makabayan si Rizal? Siguro kung buhay pa siya active siya sa United Nations. Why not? Iba't ibang lahi ang mga minahal niya.

But he had one great love. Leonor Rivera.

I'd tell you I could love again but there was only one Julian Sunico. Hindi lahat ng nasa kasalukuyan ay siyang one great love. I didn't know if it was from Bob Ong: Hindi lahat ng nagmamahalan ay magkasama at hindi lahat ng magkasama ay nagmamahalan.

So, I was very confident. Kahit sampung Tricia pa 'yan, ako pa rin ang mahal ni Julian.

My breath got hitched. They did pass me by without so much as hi! Parang gumuho 'yung mundo ko. Iyon pala ang ibig sabihin non.

"Jeannie?!"

I didn't turn around.

"Jeannie? Jeannette Rose Leviste?"

I closed my eyes. So, she did remember me huh. God give me strength not to throttle the two of them. At lalong ayokong umiyak sa harapan nilang dalawa. I automatically turned around and placed a robotic smile on my lips. "Hi."

"You still remember me, don't you?" Excited na sabi nito.

"Of course," nanadya ka ba? Gusto kong isigaw 'yun sa kanya. She seemed nice and genuine. Alam ko, lahat ng third party ang impression sa kanila ay masama. But no, in my rational state of mind, trust me, Tricia was kind and sweet. Pero hindi ako rational ngayon!

"God. You've changed. You've thinned a little. But it's okay!" Before I knew it, she was hugging me.

Argh. I met a pair of dark eyes. Those eyes I'd painted in my mind. And he looked bored! As if he didn't recognize me. Gusto kong itulak si Tricia. So, he was here, without telling me.

At bakit pa Jeannie? Ano pa bang koneksyon niyo?

He should have told me, for old times' sake!

Para ano? Para saktan ang sarili mo? Bakit mo pa kasi siya hinabol?!

My hands were shaking due to the cold December night? Or because the chillness in Julian's stare? I wasn't so sure.

"Anyway, Jeannie..." lumingon ito kay Julian. "Julian ano ka ba! Para namang wala kayong pinagsamahan."