Splitting Hairs

Fifteen

"Make love to me..."

"What?"

"You heard me... make love to me. Now." Sinabi ko iyon na parang nagdedemand lang ng flavor ng chupachups.

Umiling ito. "This is not you. What's gotten into you?"

Masamang espiritu. "So, is it a yes or a no?"

"No."

"Fine. I won't effin' waste my time on somebody who's not worth it." Galit na binalibag ko ang pinto. I wiped the threatening tears away. He grabbed my arm. "This. Is. Not. You." Kailangan pa bang ulit-ulitin niya 'yun? Alam ko. I'm a big-time loser.

***

"More... more..." My God, I was purring. Me? I slithered my body against him. Hell yeah, like a cat. Last night ko na 'to. Gee... I rocked my hips back in forth to the rhythm.

I would dance the night away like it would be my last time. No. My FIRST TIME.

"You're drunk. Masyado ka ng madaming naiinom."

Goodness, I didn't know a mere whisper in the ear could feel ticklish. Ahm... "I'm supposed to be drunk. And happy. And sexy... Kaya nga tinawag itong bar 'di ba?" I stupidly craned my neck. Oh boy, I wasn't that drunk, was I? He's got gray eyes. I couldn't be mistaken.

"Wanna ride with me boyo?" Parang may sariling isip ang bibig ko. Grabe lakas ng tama sa 'kin ng martini. Ilang shots pa lang.

His lips twitched on the side. "Hell, who wouldn't? No wonder... Julian got dibs on you. I bet you're feeling fucking hot?"

"And dir—ty." Yes. A helluva way to say it. Feeling ko ang dumi-dumi ko. Pero hindi ba 'yun naman dapat ang maramdaman ko? Hindi ako ito. When the man swayed me back and forth, I felt his rock hard body poking againt mine. I gasped a little. Para akong nakuryente.

Hindi ako.

Hindi ako.

Hindi ako.

"You promised me! You promised me... you won't hurt Julian."

I felt my eyes widening. Out of the blue, Yeye was staring down at me. He was standing there. Tapos lumapit siya sa 'kin. What was happening? Parang umiikot ang paligid ko. Yeye was beside the bed and touched my stomach.

He shook his head.

"Don't hurt him. You promised me!"

I was sweating coldly. Napaupo ako bigla at napa-sign of the cross. Seryoso ba si Yeye? Minumulto nga ako nito! I was trembling violently. Lumingon lingon ako. Madilim ang buong paligid. Ang sama talaga ng ugali ni Julian! Ni hindi man lang binuksan ang lamp shade bago umalis. Marahan akong umupo. What the hell were those dreams all about?

There was a woman with no face. Or Was it me? Then there was Yeye.

Kinakarma na ba talaga 'ko?

***

Hindi na 'ko nakatulog. Sino ba? Parang naririnig ko pa rin ang boses ni Yeye. Parang gusto niya na talaga akong isama sa dako paroon kung hindi ko gagawin ang gusto niya. I bit my lower lip then I sniffed. Ano 'yun? Insenso... seryoso ba talaga si Yeye? Kinilabutan ako.

Someone tapped my shoulder from beh—

I screamed.

"Yeye!"

"Jean?"

"Uncle Jin?" I gritted my teeth. "Sorry... ahm, good morning?"

"Good morning. Have you seen Julian?"