Splitting Hairs

Twenty Eight

When I was a kid, I was bothered by my parents' petty quarrels from the spilled juices down to the wet home slippers on the bathroom. Jean and I started growing up. At kami rin, we started arguing from our ponytails down to our crushes. Sino bang mas gwapo? 'Yung crush nyang kahawig 'yung bida sa nightmare before Christmas? O si Johnny Depp sa Edward Scissorhands?

And the biggest competition ever: Sinong mas maganda?

Great. As if we didn't have the same face.

Married life was never perfect. Bakit ba eh, when Jean and I were ready to rip each other's head's off our shoulders. Aba. Nakikisigaw na din si mommy. Sumbong kay daddy. Tapos kapag sila nag-aaway they'd both tell us, take note: in chorus, to shut up.

Hindi nga ba't mahirap magpalaki ng mga magulang?

In the three months I came back to Julian, I had gone to Heaven then back to hell. Bakit ba hindi? Daig ko pang kasama si Hitler. "Jeannie!" I heard that shout. Err, growl.

"Jeannie!"

I hadn't heard a word.

"JEANNIE!"

I put the big pillow over my head.

"Jeannie! I know you're not asleep." Tinanggal niya 'yung unan sa mukha ko. I closed my eyes tightly. Grabe, ang hirap magpanggap ng natutulog. "Damn you! Where did you put the documents?" He was now shouting. May bago ba?

I gritted my teeth and then groaned. "Hmm..."

"Jeannie. Nauubos na pasensya ko." His voice held warning. Anong pakialam ko?! Walang utang-na-loob! Ingrato. I just helped yaya Oreng clean his study room. "Jeannie... kapag hindi ka—"

"Ano? Anong gagawin mo?!" Sigaw ko. Gigil na ibinato ko 'yung unan. Bull's eye. Right on his face. He was now scowling. Oh, God. Have I awakened the beast in him again? Tumaas 'yung kilay ko. Tapos nag-tremble 'yung lower lip ko. Humikbi ako.

Julian's face softened. Hoho. Winner!

He sighed exaggeratedly and tilted my head up. Nanulis 'yung bibig ko. Tears were pooling in my eyes. Kapag hindi na ako pwedeng bumalik sa New York makasali na nga lang sa starstruck dito. Dream. Believe. Survive. "Alam mo Jeannie... hindi na uubra sa 'kin 'yang arte mong 'yan."

I pushed him hard away from me. Galit akong tumayo. "Can't you be more endearing and... and..." I gritted my teeth in anger. "Tinulungan ko na nga si manang na ayusin 'yung malagubat mong study room! Kung sabagay who dwells on that jungle? A monkey!" I screamed at him.

We were really screaming. Goodness. In the middle of the night.

"Jeannie... nasan 'yung mga lumang folder sa cabinet?" He said. Ayan. Gentler this time. Na para bang nagsisisi siyang pinabalik niya pa 'ko di— No... Bakit siya magsisisi? 'Di ba dapat ako? I slowly smiled at him. "Alin don? 'Yung tirahan ng mga bukbok? Ah, tinapon ko na lahat 'yu—"

"WHAT???"

Oh. My. God. I swore I took three steps backward. Nabilang ko pa talaga siya. He looked like he was ready to wring my neck. Narinig kong naglagutukan 'yung mga buto niya sa knuckles. I shivered. Of course, Julian wouldn't hurt me—at least physically.

Without a word he turned his back on me and walked toward the door.

"Julia—"

He raised one finger as if saying 'don't talk to me'.

Ever.

"Julian naman oh," bulong ko. Okay. Hindi naman ako masokista no. Pero... I could even handle Julian shouting at me when he was mad. But not cold treatment on his part. I started sobbing. That rooted him to the ground. Napangisi ako. I cried louder. Tapos sinabog ko ng onti 'yung buhok ko.