Splitting Hairs

Eight

"Jeannie! Jeannie! Damn. Jeannie darling... please wake up." I heard that one. Nananaginip ba 'ko? Sa panaginip ko— Julian was worried sick about me.

Me. Me. Me.

No Tricia. No make-believe baby. No nothing. 

I opened my eyes slowly. "Nasan ako?" Julian cupped my cheek softly. Lahat sila nakapalibot sa 'kin. Si Celine, si Uncle Jin, Tantan, Drake, Aunt Risan, and the rest... I couldn't very well remember their names.

Nakita ko ang mukha ni Julian, clearly. Then I started hiccupping. I wanted to go home. Ayoko na. Hindi ko na kaya. He looked real worried. Kung hindi ko pa alam... in my peripheral vision I saw her.

"I'm... okay." Pinilit kong tumayo mula sa malaking kama. My throat was dry.

"Alam mo cous, ganyan din ako ng pinagbubuntis ko si Tantan. Emotional stress, kaya ikaw Julian... take care of Jean." Celine smiled at me. Anak siya ni Uncle Jin na nanirahan na din sa PH.

Emotional stress, oo. Pero pinagbubuntis? Hindi.

"Are you sure, you're okay?" Tanong ni Uncle Jin. Napansin ko ang closeness ni Julian kay Uncle Jin. The man who had bear-hugged me earlier. At apo nito si Tantan. And I found out that Uncle Jin was his father's adoptive cousin. Parang ito ang pumalit sa pwestong iniwan ng papa niya. And sadly... the divorce of Julian's parents caused the Sunico patriarch to disown his eldest son.

Tantan kissed my nose. "Sungmo Jean... s-sorryy..." My eyes watered. Hindi naman ako pinanganak na sinungaling kaya nagi-guilty din naman ako sa pamilya ni Julian. Hindi ko ineexpect ito. Hindi sila matapobre like what I'd expected.

"Are you sure, darling? You got me worried... We'll go to the nearest hospital. Our baby... he might be..." He frantically cupped my stomach tenderly. Natawa ang mga pinsan ni Julian at tinapik ito. Gusto kong maniwala Julian... gusto ko. But I'm not that stupid. At sana hindi dumating 'yung panahong I'd start really hating you.

"Is there something wrong, dear?" Napatingin ako sa mukha ng Yeye ni Julian. He didn't look as if he was sick. His rheumy eyes were still clear. I sighed. Ewan ko, pati ako naguguluhan. But there was something about his grandfather that made me fear him. Authority. Arrogance.

Na parehong meron kay Julian. They were both alike.

"Let's get her to rest." Sabi nito sa mataas na tinig. May tungkod ito. Nobody assisted the old man. He's got grit and pride. Very much like Julian. Niyakap ako ni Tantan sa leeg. Hindi ako makahinga sa bigat niya. Diyos ko, mapapatawad ko na sana 'tong batang 'to.

"Jean—nie..." Nakita ko si Tricia, parang nag-aalala siya. O nag-aalala ba talaga? Tinalikuran ko siya. Narinig ko ang pagsara ng pinto.

"Jeannie..."

"Will you please... stay away from me?" I murmured angrily as Julian touched my shoulder. Tinanggal ko iyon ng humarap ako sa kanya. Pero lalo niya lang hinigpitan. Nagtitigan kami. Ano 'to stare-a-thon? The muscle on his jaw flexed furiously. Wala na 'kong pakialam kung magalit siya sa 'kin.

"What's wrong?"

I bit my lower lip from shouting at him. Insensitive cad! What's wrong? Ha!

"Yes! Everything's wrong... you, me and Tricia!" I clenched my teeth. Nakita kong unti-unting nag-iiba 'yung expression niya. He became withdrawn.

"I know the reason why you have to marry me, Julian. Yung titulo ng bahay namin."

Natigilan ito at napatitig ng matagal sa akin. "So?"