Splitting Hairs

Ten

I knocked on the door. Once. Twice. No response. I wasn't knocking now. Okay, I'd use the word banging now. Since, iba ang pakahulugan sa 'kin non dati. Bwisit na binabalibag ko na ang pinto. "Julian open this damned door!"

"Ma'am..."

"What!"

I tried to calm my nerves. Hindi niya kasalanan. Hindi dapat mandamay ng inosenteng nilalang.

"Eh, ma'am sabi po ni sir, 'wag daw po siyang gambalain."

Nawala na ang overdramatic mood ko kanina. Tricia yelled at me earlier in the parking lot of the restaurant and took me out of my reverie. "Are you just going to stand there like an idiot? You're not even going to defend yourself? What? Iiyak ka at sasabihin mong ikaw na naman ang biktima?"

For the second time, my jaw almost dropped. For the win pala itong si Tricia! Naiiyak na sana ako nun eh. Pwede pala kaming friends. Posible pala. I thought... it was only in the movies or telenovelas. 'Yung pag-aagawan namin 'yung bidang lalaki.

"Wag gambalain? Bakit ano bang himala ang ginagawa niya sa loob?" Gigil kong sabi. The door was locked. Bakit ko ba naisipang mag-give up? I never had that in my vocabulary. Ako si Jeannie Rose Leviste. Sabi ni mommy, ang lola ng lola ko ang pamangkin ng anak ni Gabriela Silang.

Sabi nga, so love wins.

E ano kung he won me over an orgasm.

E ano kung na-fall ako sa kanya sa kagagahan ko kahit ang sama-sama niya?

I need to speak to him. And I need to find Jean and know the truth. What if hindi talaga buntis si Jean? Why would she run if she is? Hindi idadamay ng kapatid ko ang walang kamuang-muang na bata para maghirap. Jean would stick to Julian just for the kid. That I'm pretty much sure of.

Saming dalawa ni Jean, mas may tendency pa akong tumakbo sa responsibilidad. Just like what I did when I ran to New York.

Agh. Why are you doing this to me now, Jean?

"Julian! Kapag hindi mo binuksan ito. I'll kill myself right here!"

Syempre hindi.

I gritted my teeth in anger. May pills kaya itong dala sa loob? Wire? Rope? Knife? Grabe naman. Hindi pa naman ako ganon kamahal ni Julian para gawin niya iyon.

"Ma'am kasi po... baka sa 'kin magalit si sir kung..."

"Magalit sir mo? Sino bang kaharap mo? Hindi ba dapat mas mauna kang matakot sa 'kin?" I took the keys in her shaking hands. And opened the damned door.

Madilim sa kwarto. I turned on the lights and saw Julian sitting on the carpeted floor. That was a spot for misery. Dyan din ako nag-iiyak nung nilockan niya ako after the wedding.

Parang biglang nawala ang lakas ng loob ko. Nalunok ko pa ata ang nanunuyot kong laway.

"Julian..." Nakita ko ang nagsabog na mga beer bottles.

Hell.

"Julian..."

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He whispered angrily.

Mag-eexplain sana ako.

"And why the fuck are you drinking? Nagseselos ka ba kay Brad?"

Bulong ko. He smirked then he started to laugh insanely. Na para bang bago pa sa 'kin 'yun.

"I want an annulment."

Parang nag-init ang punong tenga ko. Ni hindi man lang niya pinakinggan ang explanation ko pagkatapos ay manghihingi siya ng annulment? Ganon lang kadali iyon?!