Splitting Hairs

Five

Sabi nila best things in life are free. True. Pero minsan nga kung ano pa 'yung libre siya pang mahirap kunin. Like happiness. Why is it so elusive? Maybe because we cannot have everything we wanted. Life's not perfect. Kaya nga hindi ako naniniwala sa sinabi ni Kim Chui na habulin mo happiness mo! Eh di kung ganon lang kadali iyon, sana wala ako dito. Julian would have been with... another. Tricia.

But then... Tricia seems to be my meal ticket.

To freedom.

Inihagis ni Julian ang coat sa couch at dumiretso sa mini bar. He poured himself a glass of brandy and downed it in one swallow. Hindi ako bulag o bingi. I knew deep down the call had something to do with his sudden withdrawal. Not that I felt anything... well, maybe it was just guilt eating at me.

"Julian... s-sino 'yung... tumawag?" Ano bang pakialam mo Jeannie? I was just curious. 'Yun lang. Not that I care.

Kulang na lang sabihin niya sa mukha kong 'wala kang pakialam'. Well, wala naman talaga. Wala nga ba Jeannie? Hindi naman siguro pinagbabawal ng batas ang pagtatanong. I sighed exaggeratedly. He just shrugged.

I should have known.

I sighed again when he didn't even bother to respond. Ayun, tinalikuran pa 'ko.

"Will you please... give me peace even just for tonight?" Mahina nitong sabi. His back was turned to me. Ang boses nito. Parang pagod na pagod. Parang... nasasaktan.

Umupo ako sa settee at tinitigan itong maigi.

That Tricia must have been special for him to be like this. Then he'd tell me that he didn't believe in love? Bull. Marami talagang mga sinungaling sa mundo.

"Is she... special?"

I jumped in surprise ng ibato niya yung decanter. I wonder, kung bakit hindi ako nabingi sa pagbagsak ng decanter at pagkalabog ng pinto. Ang bastos talaga.

"Attitude yan?"

Mabilis kong sinundan ito sa study room. Hindi naman sa nag-aalala ako. More like nabubwisit. He couldn't just storm out like that at mag-attitude ng wala man lang sense.

"Don't you fucking throw things at me." Galit na sabi ko dito. Napaatras ako ng makita ang galit pagharap nito. Sino ba kasing nagsabi na magtapang-tapangan ako?

"Don't you stop?" He hissed. "You keep on following me around and show up where I am."

"Coz because I'm your wife?" I hissed.

Galit na tinanggal nito ang necktie at binato. Biglang nagbago ang expression ng mukha.

A slow sexy smile twitched on the corner of his mouth. "Are you inviting me to bed Jean?"

Napalunok ako at napaatras. Pero naisara niya na sa likod ko ang pintuan.

"I-I better go. Hindi magandang time ito." Sabi ko pero hinaklit niya yung braso ko. "Let go." Mahina pero galit na sabi ko.

Hahabol-habol ka pa kasi para sa ano? To prove you're right? Nasan ngayon ang right na gusto mong ilaban, Jeannie?! You just entered a danger zone!

Nilapit niya ang bibig sa tenga ko. And I shivered. "You're fucking asking for it, sweetheart."

Ang boses niya ah... parang nang-aakit. He should have been a DJ. I shook the cobwebs in my head.

"Me... meron ako." Napalunok ako habang hinahapit niya ang bewang ko. He wasn't drunk yet. Was he?

"Don't pull my leg, Jean... Do you think I'm stupid? You lied to me. Again."