Torn in two (Luke Hemmings)

Chapter 42

Cara's POV

I scrubbed and scrubbed the work top with bleach on an old rag. My hands began to began to burn from the friction and how the bleach was soaking into my hands. Blisters were already forming on the palm of my hands but I was slowly becoming numb. It was quickly approaching 10am and I hadn't slept. I planned on sleeping for a few hours after I watched Luke accept the award then pick Jayde and Amy up from their friends later tonight. I was thankful that the babies were still sound asleep so I didn't have to worry about them picking up on my mood.

I was counting down the time until Luke finally came home and I could hold him in my arms and hear his soothing voice in person.

I needed him by my side when the police came to talk to me. I found it extremely pointless them coming to see me just to retell me the story that I didn't want to hear. I needed him to hold me so I didn't flip out at them like I do. I needed his warmth to embraced me. I wanted to fall asleep in his arms again. All I needed was him;He was a safe haven to me.

I continued scrubbing the same place over and over to a point where the black marble surface was slowly fading.

"Cara..." I heard a soft voice say and I turned to see the man I love standing in front of me with flowers clenched in his hand and a sympathetic smile on his lips "Come here" He whispered and opened his arms. I didn't hold back on running into his arms and embraced his relaxing scent.

Words cannot describe how safe I always feel in his arms, how I forget the world when his arms are around me. It's like my worries go away for awhile and suddenly everything is better. Although it's not, for a few moments everything feels better.

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*2 weeks later*

After two weeks of sorrow I finally felt at peace again. My dads funeral was a beautiful service and a surprise I witnessed was many people turned up.

He had lots of friends, some being the ones who would turn up to his parties and ones who shed many tears when remembering good memories they had with him and none of which contained anything bad about his past. And that I was truly thankful for.

I didn't want to hear them say what he had done, I didn't want to remember what had happened. The past is the past, I've began to learn that you cannot dwell on what has happened, dwelling will not change a single thing. Dwelling isn't a key that can enable to go back in time and change what has happened. Reality doesn't work like that. As much as i'd love to go back, change my younger self, it is impossible. 

I felt overwhelmed with support from everyone around me. It made me finally realize that even though my thoughts had told me I was alone and that I have the worst life, I do not. After the support that was displayed to me I realized that my life is worth something and that I have so much in my life worth staying strong for. I have amazing friends that stick by me, beautiful children and an amazingly talented husband.

"Are you packed?" Luke called fixing his necklace.

"Almost" I called back, zipping up my suitcase and walking down the stairs.

After the funeral was done, we decided to take a family holiday to Australia to rid away the blues. After spending a few days there we had the idea to go away on a break for two, the kids stayed with Luke's family and we went away in the sun just us two. 

And we were truly alone, no one was running up to Luke shoving a camera in his face and no paparazzi were around with their flashing cameras and interrogating questions. Although I did not mind the attention her got, after awhile it does tend to get annoying but a break without anymore disrupting us was truly needed.

It relaxed both of us completely. It felt like forever since we had some alone time, both our schedules mean we have no time together just us two anymore. Luke is either working hard in the studio, in interviews or in another country. And i'm doing housework, the school run and shopping for basic home necessities. At the end of the day we are both shattered to do anything together, Luke goes straight to bed once he's in and I settle down the children.

We spent the most of the holiday on the beach, it was peaceful, the slight ripple of waves and the sun beaming down made me feel so much more refreshed. Both of us felt at peace. 

But of course, it had to come to an end eventually. I just wish we could extend it longer, but Jayde's birthday is coming up so we had to rejoin them in Australia which is where we decided to celebrate it. Tyler arrived there yesterday with the presents from our friends in London. 

"Ready?" Luke said taking my suitcase in his left hand.

"I'm capable of holding a suitcase, you know?" I joked and he shook his head.

"Can you let me be a gentleman for just a minute?" He laughed.

We both walked slowly to the car, I took one last photo of the scenery from our holiday home that we had purchased before joining Luke in the car. 

"I'm proud of you" Luke randomly blurted out resting his hand on my thigh.

"What's making you say that?" I asked placing my hand delicately on top of his.

"I think you deserve to hear it every now and then. You've lost so much and been through so much, not many people say it to you. I'll remind you every day about how proud I am, if I really have to" He explained briefly using his free hand to twirl my lilac braid around his finger.

I laughed slightly before speaking up "It's nothing, honestly. I don't need you to tell me, I just need you by me". 

He slowly kissed me moving his hand from my thigh to my waist then back down again. Luckily, the car we were in had a window from the drivers seat into the backseat so the driver could not see and feel awkward.

The days we spent away refreshed me, even though it was for a little bit, they made me feel normal again and going on holiday makes me more happy. Which was what we both needed not just me. We both required a little bit of happiness and to feel refreshed.

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a/n

tryna get me mojo back after being dead for months

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NEXT CHAPTER IS THE LAST BUT DW THERE IS A SHORT STORY LINKING ONTO THIS AFTER

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