If I Knew

Chapter Thirty Six

CHAPTER THIRTY SIX

*JANICE POV*

I ran inside after I heard the loud crash.

I saw Niall on the floor and a huge mess all over the place.

"NIALL!" I yelled.

He looked up from looking at his bloody hands.

"Oh my.... wha-what happened?!"

"I..I..uh..heard people yelling outside and saw something bang against the window, I got scared and worried, I thought you were being attacked. I didn't want anything to happen to you."

"But look at what happened to you! Hold on stay right there, don't move, let me go get the first aid kit."

I ran to the hallway, took it from the drawer, and ran back to him, I picked up the chair and helped him up into it.

"Ow..ow."

"Sorry. I'm so sorry Niall, why do I keep hurting you."

"It's not your fault. It was my decision to stand up."

"Still, I should have just came back inside and not dealt with that whore."

"Wait, who's out there anyways?"

"You haven't gotten your memory back, but.."

Leslie walked in through the door.

"Niall! Baby! There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you, how have you been?"

"Do I know you?"

"Sweetie, I'm your girlfriend, remember?"

"Not really? And you wait you're my girlfriend? You don't seem to be my girlfriend, since you haven't been the one here taking care of me."

"I was away, I'm sorry."

"Away where?"

"I was camping, with some friends."

"Don't you mean sleeping with another guy?" I cut in.

"Do you really wanna go there again Janice?" She shouted.

"No! Because of you Niall is hurt again!"

"How is this my fault? I was outside you stupid hoe!"

"Stop!" Niall shouted.

"I'm sorry."

"Just calm down Janice, please. And you girl, maybe we used to be together, or we used to date or whatever, but you just proved to me you don't even want to be with me, so we're over."

"But Niall, I love you! Plus you don't have your memory back! AND YOU LEFT HER FOR ME REMEMBER? YOU CANT JUST GO BACK TO HER!"

"What're you talking about? I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been stupid enough to leave such a sweet girl for some whore like you!"

"But you did! Becau.."

"Goodbye Leslie, you heard him get out." I said.

"This isn't your business JANICE stay out of it!"

"It kind of is, besides it's my house, SO GET OUT!"

"This isn't over."

"Trust me, it is, bye-bye." Niall said

I chuckled at his comment.

I closed the door behind Leslie.

"I'm sorry for all that Niall. She's, she's insane.."

"Are you sure she was my girlfriend? I don't see why I went out with her?"

"Its a long story, besides, I don't want to influence your choices because your memory still isn't back."

"I have time, can't go anywhere because I can't walk and I need some help cleaning this blood off."

"Haha, right. Well I just don't want to make you think it's a sob story."

"C'mon just tell me, I want to know what happened. Because nothing's making sense right now and I'm wondering why she said I left you for her, were we going out?"

"No, well kind of, but no. It's complicated and I don't like to talk about it."

"Please?" He said softly as he placed his hand over mine.

"I.. Fine. But you can't complain or cry while I heal your hand, okay?"

"Deal."

"Okay, so it started when I asked Danielle to tell Liam to ask you if we could go on a double date sometime. And we did, we had a small breakfast date, I'm not sure how you think it went, but I'm sure it was different than from my perspective, since the events that happened after weren't how I wanted them to go. Anyway, after that we went on a somewhat second date, it was at a party, but while I was upstairs changing out of my ruined dress, you were downstairs making out with my best friend. Or ex best friend which is the girl who just left. Then I .." I looked down trying not to cry.

"I did that to you?"

I nodded my head.

"I ran away, I ran home as fast as I could, I lied and said I was sick and I disappeared the next day and left town for a while. But once I came back, instead of coming back to everything being normal, you and Leslie were official I guess."

"How exactly did all this mess happen then?"

"I refused to talk to you for a long while, and one day, I don't know what happened, but Danielle came knocking at my door telling me you were in an accident. And from that day forward I couldn't stay mad at you. I felt bad because I knew it was my fault. And I'm sorry, I really am."

I was crying at this point.

"I don't think it's your fault Janice, and once I recover my memory, I'll know for sure it wasn't your fault."

"I just, I felt betrayed and I tried to hate you, but I just couldn't. And it is my fault for denying you and not letting you talk to me and .."

He leaned forward and kissed me.

"Wh..what're you doing?"

"It's not your fault. I know it in my heart. I don't know why I was stupid enough to push you away, but I'm the one that's sorry, okay?"

"Niall, no. This is only because you don't remember anything. You can't. I can't. We can't."

"Why not? What if this was a sign just to start over?"

"It's not, it's a sign that I fucked up your life for almost killing you!"

"Janice listen to me please. Just let it be."

"No. I can't, not till you recover your memory and I know for sure it's the real you talking, I know you're going to change your mind after, and I can't go through that again. Please."

"Fine."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I get it. What time is it?"

"It's almost 1:30."

"Is it okay if I take a nap? I'm really tired."

"Yeah that's fine. Just let me cover up your hand with a bandage."

"Thank you. Not just for this, but for taking care of me, even after what I put you through."

"It's okay, don't worry about it, I got your back."

"Can you help me to the couch please?"

"I thought you wanted to nap?"

"Yeah, I do?"

"Then go to my room, there's a bed in there you know, haha."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, totally."

"Okay, can you still help me?"

"Duh! Not like if you can even stand up on your own." I teased

"Whatever!" He laughed

He put his arm around my shoulder and stood up, he limped through the hall and turned into my room.

"Nice room"

"Thanks, not too girly?"

"Nah, it's nice I like it. Simple but decorative at the same time." He turned and smiled at me.

"Okay well there's the bed, feel free to get under the sheets since it's a bit chilly and if you need anything just let me know, I'll be around the apartment just cleaning up and stuff. Plus you have your phone so you can call or text me, okay?"

"Got it, thank you."

I walked out of the room and began with my chores.

I lived alone but I hadn't really been home lately so I needed to do a little bit of a clean up around. It wasn't anything too major, just some things were left out of place here and there.

After about an hour of cleaning, I was done. I still needed to do laundry, so I grabbed all my clothes, put it in a basket, and walked outside to the end of the hall were the laundry room was.

I locked the door, didn't want Niall to get kidnapped while he was sleeping.

I was finishing up putting all the clothes in the washer when I felt my pocket vibrate.

*
Niall: Hey, I kind of have to take a wee, mind giving me a hand?.. I mean in getting there..

*
I laughed at how funny he could be sometimes. I headed back and unlocked the door and ran to my room.

"You haven't pee'd your pants yet, right?"

"Almost!"

"Okay c'mon i just changed my sheets!"

I helped him up and took him to the bathroom.

"Okay, I am not helping you in there, so goodluck! Just hold on to whatever you can."

"Thanks?" He laughed and closed the door.

Once he was done we went back to my room.

"Do you want to keep napping or watch TV?"

"Um I'll watch TV for a while."

He started watching TV and I went back outside. I stayed in the laundry room reading while the clothes were ready.

After about an hour or two I headed back, I left the basket in the corner of my room and turned to Niall who had fallen asleep again.

He looked so peaceful and adorable just sleeping there.

I was actually getting pretty tired myself it was almost 6 and I felt like taking a nap as well so I laid on the opposite side of him, each of us in our own corner, and knocked out.