Saving Diana || One Direction

Chapter 1

My alarm clock beeped loudly, the horrible sound echoing around my room. I turned it off and got out of my bed, which was much more comfortable now that it was when I stumbled in to it at around midnight last night. I went into the spare room, which was next to my roommates bedroom, before taking a towel out of the airing cupboard and walking to the  bathroom, the towel draped over my hand. I turned on the shower and striped of my clothes. I looked in the full length mirror attached to the back of the door, I wasn't fat, but I wasn't skinny. I had massive thighs and a chubby tummy I felt sick just looking at myself. the scars on my hips hurt like crazy but I deserved the pain, I ran my hand over them. They were sharp uneven and reminded me of last night when I'd created them. They would burn like crazy, cuts always did for the first few showers. the now burning hot water was running endlessly down my hand.

I was nothing, to no one. My parents weren't worthy of that name. My mother had me when she was 15, my father was 18 and they blamed me for ruining there teenage years. I hurt not seeing nothing but hatred in the eyes of my mother when she looked at me. She was a model, it was the only thing she could do, she was unbelievably pretty, the gene wasn't present in me, but she had no qualifications at all, she got all d's and c's in her GCSE's but that wasn't enough to get a decent job. My father was not around, he only came to my house to crash for a few days while he found a new place, even though they weren't together they lived together, and every day they would row and eventually be evicted. That's where I came in a place to stay. My flat mate was the closest thing I had to a best friend. She was everything I wanted to be, she was also the reason I was still alive, I knew that when I committed suiced she would be the only to care and I couldn't do that to her.

 I looked down at my body fresh pink scars covering my thighs and wrists, I hated them, but it was the only way to get rid of the pain i'd been holding in all these years. It scared me, the fact I was ready to die at such a young age.  The only person who knew about this was El,  She once had asked me if it hurt, but it was nothing the pain inside. Once i got really low, to the point of trying to end my life, the hospital made me go see a therapist who had said i was clinically depressed. A few weeks later me and El got into an argument, she said it 's just depression get over it, she didn't mean it but it hurt, you wouldn't tell someone it was just cancer and to get over it. El was my only friend, we'd been friends for a while and i could trust her. She was just a bit crazy sometimes. I was a nobody, nobody noticed that i had a blade in my bag, nobody noticed my life was in bits, nobody noticed how low i actually am and nobody really  noticed me at all and I wanted to keep it that way.

I pulled on a long sleeved jumped jumper, from next, it was a present from El. The jumper was covering my wrists so no one could see, not that anyone would care but I had to keep them hidden.  I got a pair of coral shorts, that were long enough to cover up all my old and new scars on my thighs. I put on some converse, not the proper ones but the £6 sort from Primark or Primani as El called it. I threw the books i needed into my bag as well as my pencil case and some other bits and bobs, including my school blade. It was used most days, usually in the loo's on G floor as less people when up there since it was the business rooms.

El was sick, she had been ever since she went on holiday with her then boyfriend Luke. Luke was basically a god. El knew I thought that, when ever he came round I always shouted that god was here. she said he wasn't that hot once, I asked her is she had eyes. They broke up because he wasn't ready for a big relationship and El wasn't interested in a non- big relationship. She must of caught something, El was never sick but when she was it was bad very bad I tried to stay away in fear I would catch it too, but I did bring her food up on a tray for us and we watched a movie most days, her pick obviously. With El sick I had nobody to hang out with at school. El always stuck up from me, with out her there i would have to defend myself, which we both knew wouldn't happen.